A Good Four Years

Online dating can be a nasty business from what I’ve heard and I can see why that might be so for many people. I’ve only had two experiences with it, one with my husband John who turned out to be exactly who he represented himself to be, and one a few years before that was disappointing and educational. I’ll leave it by saying there are some lessons I’d rather not have learned.

If you’ve followed my story you’ll know that I wasn’t really interested in dating men in the UK as much as I was reading about them. You’ll also know that I found John by a happy accident on New Year’s Eve after reading through several hundred profiles on a UK dating site.

I bring this up again because today marks four years since he received an email that I had no idea I’d initiated, from Guardian Soulmates informing him that he had a ‘Fan.’

If you’re interested in the romantic details, you can read more here and here. A lot can happen in four years and a great deal of our last four years can be found on this blog site and in my earlier version of ‘Gifts Of The Journey.’ 

John, romantic sweetie that he is, came into the room where I was sitting a few days ago and said that he had been rereading the emails from when we first met online and said that our conversations then, were much as they are now, honest, straight-forward, and without pretense.

I was lying on the couch looking rough this morning, a result of a post holiday illness when after reminding me of today’s date and the time that had passed, he gave my hand a tender squeeze and said, ‘They’ve been a good four years.’

He’s right, you know. With little effort we’ve been very happy and I feel so lucky to have found such a dear man.

John Winchurch & Elizabeth Harper - 2011

13 thoughts on “A Good Four Years

  1. So happy for you and your beloved “Brit”…I am reading James Herriot right now, and I love his ability to see and say. I understand he is now a resident of heaven, but didn’t he leave this world a better place! Nothing like love. You and your beloved look like two peas in a pod. To quote from the Bible: “Two are better than one!”

  2. I met my Bob in October 1991, through his personals ad in an actual newspaper. We followed up with letters—we’re both writers, so it was easy to be clear with each other. (We celebrate October 3, 1991, as our anniversary, too. Twenty years this year!)

    I, too, had one prior experience with the personals, and he was too cerebral and philosophical and esoteric for me. Tried to hard to impress.

    And when I answered Bob’s ad, it in the spirit of finding someone to go to the movies with: you know, fighting lovers, which is what I’d had for most of my life. I’d been with boys, essentially, who backed down from emotions or ran when I let them fly. To my astonishment, instead of finding a boyfriend, I found THE man, THE love, and my hero.

    I was one of three dozen responses he got—the average man, they told him, got three or four. He said “one glowed like a ruby among garnets,” and that he knew as soon as he held it that mine was the response he’d sought.

    And like your John, Bob is bearded (cinnamon and sugar), a blood-carrying Englishman (related to the old man Churchill, but not enough to inherit anything more than a similar appearance), and has extremely kind eyes. (That was a selling point for my little girl at the time. She was three when we met.)

    I find much resonance with you, Elizabeth. I am grateful our paths finally crossed, so far away from Georgia.

  3. It is indeed a super photo of you two. I hope you find that the two of you bring out (even more) of what’s good about each other. That to me is the hall mark of a good relationship – one of many, but an important one.

    Happy anniversary!

  4. What a beautiful and encouraging story. I too, tried online dating and have now a lovely friendship from it. However I also met a wonderful man on a tramping trip and we are still going together now even though we live about four hours apart.
    All the best for your future together.

  5. You are so lucky. I am happy for both of you. My oldest and dearest friend also found her companion on a dating site. They are very happy also. I don’t know why I am still fearful of going there. Maybe I am just content now to be by myself. I know I tend to put my deceased husband on a pedestal, I keep reminding myself he wasn’t perfect! But I find most of the men I meet have so much baggage.

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