I tend to be pretty competitive, but not with everyone.
When it comes to those close to my heart … I let a lot slide.
In those relationships, love is always more important than winning.
That’s not to say I don’t feel disappointment, I just try not to linger there too long.
I can be a relentless bridge builder when a misunderstanding threatens a relationship.
But it doesn’t always work and it’s no good pushing too hard.
Sometimes all I can do is build a bridge and offer an invitation to the other side.
After that, I let go.
How do you handle disappointment in relationships.
Great shot =) Thank you for sharing
Thanks, Ana … you’ve got some lovely shots on your blog too.
It really depends on the nature of the misunderstanding. When I was younger, I tended to be a bridge burner. These days, most of my relationships are solid enough to withstand misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I don’t really have a lot of tolerance for tenuous relationships and take a laissez-faire attitude if something goes awry that isn’t of my own making.
I was a bridge burner when I was younger too, Michelle. Then I learned how use the talk it out approach. I still prefer that method to the alternative, but not not everyone is receptive. Until recently, I’ve been someone who would try multiple attempts to communicate, but with age comes the wisdom of experience and learning when it’s time to let go.
My inclination is to turn away—which is not something I am particularly proud of. That’s quite a bridge you shot :-).
I understand that Winsomebella, more that you might imagine. That bridge is incredible and the house that sits on the island at the end of it looks pretty amazing too. You can stay there if you have enough money. 🙂 http://www.uniquehomestays.com/unique/details.asp?id=2246
Great photo, bridges are something that we all deal with differently as we get older and wiser, sometimes, it is best to just leave the door open and be patient, but only for so long, after that its too late and the time has expired, but it does depend on the subject, person, and, well, some many factors came come into it. Being patient is the hardest thing sometimes. But love will eventually conquer all.
Tony and Jacquie Sanders.
Thanks for that Tony. You’re right in that there can be mitigating factors and time can stretch on longer for some than it might for others.
I offer , just like you, and then if it is not accepted I let go … I do give it a few months though,, It does also depend on how long they have been in my life,, Is that photo taken in Newquay??
Months, Annie … I’ve given some people years in the past, but my heart needs to make space for people who treat me better. Life is too short to do it differently.
I did take that photo in Newquay. It looks like a great place to spend the weekend, but it will cost you. http://www.uniquehomestays.com/unique/details.asp?id=2246
Excellent post. I hadn’t really thought about it. So I did.
I’ve concluded that I always have the following dialogue with myself:
1) Is the disappointment I feel toward this person internal?
2) Is this person just an a$$hat?
If the answer to number 1 is “yes” – get over yourself
If the answer to number 2 is “yes” – leave
Life’s pretty simple after that. 🙂
Thanks, Leah. Simple is certainly the fastest way to clear the mental clutter that goes with living in a state of guesswork. 🙂
But not for everyone. My mom’s side of the family sticks together in hate, so they can talk crap about each other. It works for them.
But for me, I guess this is just what works. I’m glad you asked the question, which made me take a self-look. I forget to do that a lot.
Interesting question. It took me a long time to realize everything is not my fault. At about the same time I realized that some people have no love. I then started cutting some people off. Others I have opened the door to on a regular basis, even though a lot of time has passed. Ten years ago, I was surprised I could be so hard. Now I´m surprised I´m so soft, and nothing has happened, nothing has changed. Yet.
And you must say: where is that house on the picture? Amazing!
Thanks for sharing, Viktoria. Your experience is one shared by many … the realization that all things are not your responsibility and not your fault if they go wrong. The house is in Newquay, a place not far from where we live. Newquay is famous for it’s surfing. http://www.uniquehomestays.com/unique/details.asp?id=2246
“Sometimes all I can do is build a bridge and offer an invitation to the other side.” I think that’s the best way to go.
Thanks, Jane. It’s been my experience with people that anything more can often be met with hostility or shunning if one pushes to hard … both of which are equally heartbreaking.
I am a bridge builder Elizabeth I have been like it all my life and still do it now at my ripe old age.
Patience I have plenty of, I remember my mother saying to me when I was a child, have patience in your life and it will serve you well, it has.
The house over the bridge is very nice, not beyond my bank account but, I would find paying over £3,400 for a week preferably two weeks, would be a waste as we would only sleep there and have breakfast. I am not extravagant.
I like the patient approach for some things, Heiko and not so much for others. Time passes and some things lost can never be recovered. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective.
I think that it might not be an issue of space in the heart, as the heart has a boundless capacity for love. It’s a big if, but if the heart has a boundless capacity, then perhaps it is only when the heart is bruised that space becomes an issue.
As one who finds it hard to ‘let go’ in such situations, I’ve had to look hard at this many times in my life. For me, it all becomes an issue when I haven’t truly let go, even though I thought I had. On the more rare occasions when I succeed in letting go, I surprise even myself, but it feels very open and good.
Hurt feelings can certainly be an issue, Mariellen and talking it out is great if both people can step up to the table humbly, with a hopeful heart and a desire for reconciliation. I tend to end up chasing after the other person working every possible way in an attempt to connect. I find that a bit fatiguing these days. Thanks so much for commenting, M … I know there’s a lot of heart stuff happening for you right now and I appreciate you taking time for me. xo.
“Sometimes all I can do is build a bridge and offer an invitation to the other side”
What if you where to not only build the bridge but also walk across and meet the person on the other side? Relationships are beasts! One wrong comment or forgotten event and the once strong relationship is crushed. Rebuilding begins in communication….. And guess what? Communication is the hardest thing to do.
So go cross that bridge and meet the person on the other side.
Thanks for commenting, Tom.