Facebook tells me that today is my daughter’s birthday as if I could ever forget.
It’s been 29 years since I heard a chorus of voices saying “8:03″ almost in unison. Throughly exhausted by a 52 hour labor, I remember thinking, ” So what if it’s 8:03 ” before realizing a half second later that the medical team were noting her time of birth.
Her time of birth may have marked the beginning of her life, but in many ways it was the beginning of mine as well, a life where others might come and go, but this little being would be a constant in my thoughts and heart no matter what. It is interesting even now how three little numbers still carry such meaning years after I heard them in the moments when my daughter was taking her first breath.
Not more than a few days ever pass without me glancing at a clock and noticing the time as 8:03. Call it coincidence if you like, but particularly now that my life is no longer ruled by the clock and my schedule my own, I always feel a bit more connected to my daughter and the memory of her birth day when those numbers pop up.
Children grab on to your heart as soon as they make their way into the world and no one tells you how difficult it will be to let go after years of hanging on so tightly. These days, I’m better at negotiating this shift in our relationship and while I sometimes stumble, I regain my footing faster now and can avoid the parts of the path that are no longer mine to walk.
After 29 years, it occurred to me this morning that I’ve been thinking of 8:03 as something that connected us when it really marked the beginning of a life that while linked to mine through love and DNA, was really one separate from me. Funny how 29 years and an openness to change can shift one’s perspective.
I’m clock watching now as I always do on her birthday waiting for the time to reach 8:03 in Georgia. While I won’t be there to see her blow out any candles or watch her make a wish, with my birthday four days before hers, I’ve got her covered because my birthday wishes have been about her health and happiness for years, 29 to be exact and this year was no different.
So here’s to Miranda, and to a year of having her dreams come true.
Happy Birthday, Miranda (at 8:03 )
Movingly expressed from love x
You know the depth. xx
I was delighted to see a notice of your post in my inbox this morning. I’ve missed your missives from Cornwall. My heart lies in England while my body seems stuck in California. Thinking of your story give me hope that I will make it there (on a permanent basis) one day soon.
Thanks for the warm welcome back, Barbara. In anticipation of my recent birthday on the 10th, I made a list of things I’d like to accomplish during this next year and getting back to blogging ranked fairly high. I’ll say more in my next post and thanks for keeping candle in the window for me.
5:43pm and 2:00pm are important to me for recognizing my daughters. When they were younger, every year at their exact time of birth, I’d kiss and hug them for a whole minute on their birthdays. Now that they’re working women, I have to make do with a phone call or text message at those times.
Lucky you to have had afternoon births, I have to think twice about my daughter’s schedule which can include nighttime hours before I pick up the phone or text. Fortunately, she was off work yesterday so she had time for some fun and we were able to chat a couple of times too. I’m going to back in Atlanta late next month, right through Thanksgiving and I am over the moon thinking about seeing her.
So glad to see you are back.
Thanks, Liza. 🙂
Great post. Greater to see you back!
Thanks, Steve. It feels good to be back. I’ve missed sharing stories and photos here.
For me it’s 11:41 a.m. — and this year my daughter turned 38, which is hard for me to process at times.
Glad to see you back in the game.
I cannot believe you have a 38 year old already, Donna! But then it does not seem as if Miranda should be 29 yet either.
What a lovely surprise to see your name in my in-box today, Elizabeth! I love stories about mothers and daughters; I hear about quite a few that lean the other way and I always feel sad that they have missed that special closeness. We had hoped for both a boy and a girl, and had our darling son first. Four years later, when I called my mother to tell her of our daughter’s birth, I said “I got my little girl!” I still vividly recall that moment, and always say it to her on her birthday.
I always wished for something more with my own mother, Linda and having a chance to be a mother to a daughter turned out to be very healing in many ways even though it was not something I intended or had any idea would happen when I became pregnant. How lucky were you to have both a boy and a girl!
Funny, it has been so long but just the other day I thought about that lovely blog from Cornwall; and here you are again. Best wishes to your daughter and I really look forward to more posts!
Thanks, Viktoria for still having a thought about me and Cornwall. I may refresh the layout of the blog a bit as I get back into it something I had hoped to do before now, but with Miranda’s birthday, I thought, ” Why wait? ” It’s so easy to procrastinate when uncertain about direction and sometimes the best thing one can do is just move. So consider yesterday’s post my first step back. My writing may be a bit rusty at first, but I’ve got some good photos waiting to be shared.
What a lovely surprise to see your blog in the inbox and a touching post about children and motherhood. Good to have you back!
I was just thinking about you the other day, Sue. I hope you are well. x
The amazing perception of time. Time defines one’s life and so much about one’s life and others who intercept you in your life.
One more thought, FYI: Scott always (always) loved your blog and writings, and commented to me about your talents not just in your life but in your lovely writings, and I can say WE want more.
Ed,you are so sweet to say such nice things about my writing and blog posts. Scott was definitely a huge supporter when it came to my photos and stories. He always encouraged me to do more and share my writing in a wider way. I know there’s no way I can miss him as much as you do, but I really miss seeing his name in my comments and hanging out with him on visits to Georgia. He was such a dear man. Big hugs to you and watch this space.
Hi from a stranger in Florida! I’m so glad to see you blog again after the death of your friend in France. I found your blog by accident one day and check it every so often, as you are living my dream! Have been to England five times since 1988 and long to live there, it feels like home to me. I’m recently divorced – might have to check out those UK singles sites like you once did!
Hi Angela, glad you’ve been checking in on me. I should be more consistent with my blogging again soon. Your multiple trips to England sounds like my love for Scotland. I’d been there three times before I met John online and it was Scotland that made me check Guardian Soulmates when I was killing time on New Year’s Eve in 2007. It sounds as if you’ve read my story before so you know I wasn’t really looking for love, but just interested in reading profiles.I got lucky.Sorry to hear about your divorce, but if you are ready to move forward give Soulmates a try and you might get lucky too.
Oh my gosh! I’m so excited that you responded to my comment! 😀 Thank you and also thank you for the name of the dating site you used! You are awesome! Looking forward to hearing more about your life in England in future blogs!
I am now a subscriber to Guardian Soulmates! Have corresponded with two gentlemen so far … but have never been on a dating site before so taking it very cautiously and slowly! Thank you for your encouragement. Who knows? I might have the same good fortune you did! :o) Looking forward to reading more about your life in England!
You go girlfriend! I wish you much success with this treatment and I will pray that this treatment, time, and new diversions bring you back to a different positive thinking and enjoyment. Keep well-I will see you Dec 2 Armella