Category Archives: One Word – Encourage

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Hidcote – A Birthday Stroll Through One Man’s Garden

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I often wish that my step-mom Cullene could be by my side as I explore new places during my travels with John. She’s content to travel less these days although you would never guess it based on what she manages to accomplish while out helping others.

We had a chance to talk about all the places we would go if I could persuade her to cross the ocean just one more time, but she feels the need to stay closer to home. She gives so much of herself to those around her and both family and friends are the recipients of her loving attention, but it does leave her with less time for herself.

Today is her birthday and without giving away her age (not that she’d likely care) I am glad to note that this is the 39th birthday I’ve had the privilege of sharing with her even if from a distance. I wish I could be there to make this day special for her or even better if she could be here with me. I’m stealing a bit from the children’s book author, Dr Seuss, ” Oh, the places we would go … ” in order to tempt her.

I left her a gift that will be appropriate for the photos in the birthday post today, but I misplaced the card and did not realize it until it was too late so I’m hoping that this post will act as a substitute for a more traditional birthday card. It is sent with great love and a not so subtle hope of enticing her over when the time is right for her to fly again.

Happy Birthday, Cullene.

You can go here to read about Lawrence Johnston who was often described as a ” self-taught gardener ” and spent much of his life creating the gardens at Hidcote. (Click to enlarge photos)

Can you guess where Cullene might use the birthday gift I left for her?

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And The Winner Is …

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John Biking On Bodmin Moor

When my sweet husband bought me a bike of my own, he gave me a gift that made my heart very happy and I’ve had the wildest thoughts while zipping through the lanes or pushing hard to make it up hills. Due to having only three gears, I love how this little beauty makes me work a bit harder to get up the steeper places. Somehow the success at the top feels more like I’ve earned it. I could not have done it half so well without my season of spin classes and think this new bicycle and I shall become the best of friends.

That said let’s move on to the naming and why I chose the one I did. I tend to assign meaning to most things in life so I should not be surprised that the idea of a name for my new ‘girlfriend ‘ seemed important.

Thanks to everyone who offered a suggestion yesterday. They were all lovely in their own way and I appreciated the explanations as well. Angie came closest to the name I chose … offering something similar, but not quite what I had in mind.

I’m calling her Dora and here’s why …

When I was riding so hard up the hills around our village for the first time, I could almost hear the music playing when the bad witch rides by during the tornado scene in the Wizard of Oz movie. Although not the actual scene I’m referring to, this video link has the music I was hearing in my head on those hills.

Counter the witch imagery with the thrill and excitement of flying down through the lanes and you have some of the childlike enthusiasm I was feeling the rest of the time even going so far as to let out a few ” Weeeee, I love this biiiiiiiike” screams in places where my joy could not be contained.

Given the visual imagery, music, and my struggle to go home, how could I not think of Dorothy, her ruby slippers, (my bike is a deep shade of red) and the witch who had to be conquered. Even though Dorothy was was a front-runner, I knew I wanted something shorter and more racy for my girl. I thought Dora might work and when I checked online, I found it was a nickname for Dorothy and that it meant ‘gift’ which seemed just about perfect since she was gifted to me by John.

I know in America that ‘Dora the Explorer ‘ has been a favorite of young girls in particular for some time and while I had no thought at all about that Dora, I feel sure that my Dora and I will do quite a bit of exploring as we spin our way to new adventures.

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Back In Cornwall & Home At Last

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If you follow me on Facebook, you know I arrived home in Cornwall early yesterday evening. John met me at the gate and I was over the moon to see him. As we live about 4.5 hours from London, he was a bit tired before the day was over. When he meets me at Heathrow, he likes to do the drive in one day preferring a 9 hour drive (500 miles) to an overnight stay in London. He took this photo right when I saw him. I can’t say the woman behind me looks as happy as I do to be there. (Click to enlarge)

Back At Heathrow After Three Months Away

When we made it home, I walked back into my studio space to find a lovely surprise. I had a happy tear or two when I saw John’s thoughtful and unexpected gift. Can you guess what it was …

Is that not the sweetest, most darling, best bike, you’ve ever seen? John said that I need some Brogues and a tweed skirt and I’ll be kitted out just right for my new retro looking bike. My sister Margaret would say that I need a helmet. I do have one, but it’s not retro so I may need to look for one on the London Cycle Chic site.

I think my face says it all … happy, happy, happy!  Now if I can just navigate the narrow lanes without crashing into anything, I’ll be good.

UPDATE: The first ride …

After making a few adjustments to my bike, I changed into pair of cycling shorts cleverly as a skirt and  John and I went for a ride up on the moor. The route we took through the lanes was stunning with color from the wildflowers that were everywhere and the green of the hedges.

I can’t even describe how it looked and felt except to say I was overwhelmed by it all and felt like I was going to have a happy cry more than a time or two. My urban stress melted away out there. Poof! It was gone, just like that.

I loved it! I’d say that my spinning days will quite happily be taking place outdoors. Some of the hills increased my heart rate in the same way my spin classes did and the sheep and wild ponies made for lovely view. I wish you all could have this experience.

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A Sweet Send Off At Sublime Doughnuts In Atlanta

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Sublime Doughnuts In Atlanta Georgia

I know it may seem strange to follow the previous post about spinning and weight loss with one about my favorite place to go for doughnuts, but hey, like most people I’m striving for balance and my balanced life has to include doughnuts. So … let me show you what I was doing this morning while the rest of you were having your oatmeal and fruit cups.

Within walking distance to my home in Atlanta, there is place that sells a sweet treat so mouth-watering that you’ll be planning your next visit while you’re still licking the crumbs of your last bite from your fingertips.

In the photo above you can see what I sampled this morning. I had a Caramel Apple Fritter which had been my number one until I tried something called a Chocolate Wildberry Fritter that I laughingly described to my friend Kimberly as a Chocolate ” Crackberry ” Fritter because it was so good I thought I might easily become addicted.

The Red Velvet Cake doughnut was tasty and sweet, but after polishing off the Caramel Apple Fritter and half of the Crackberry, I mean Chocolate Wildberry, all I could manage was a bite-size slice of the Red Velvet Cake doughnut and wrapped up the rest to share later with my daughter.

I was already living in the UK when Kamal Grant decided to put his creative culinary skills, education, and experience to use in a business of his own called Sublime Doughnuts and while his success is no surprise to those who flock to savor the fresh-all-day treats, you might be surprised to learn that he opened Sublime Doughnuts when he was only 28. You have to admire a man who leaves a good job in down economy and cashes in his 401K to go after a dream.

Chef Kamal Grant - Owner Of Sublime Doughnuts

He’s had loads of well deserved awards and great reviews and I found that success hasn’t gone to his head as he graciously posed for pictures not once, but twice with me this morning. I was having a photo snapped with him when my friend Kimberly Krautter arrived and after she and I had a chance to eat doughnuts and catch up, we took a few more shots with Kamal to remember the day.

Kimberly and I were students in the Theatre Department at the University of Georgia in the 80s and had not seen each other since 1987. She’s been pretty busy following her own dreams and you can learn more about her by clicking on her name.

Elizabeth Harper & Kimberly Krautter with Doughnut Wizard, Chef Kamal Grant - Owner Of Sublime Doughnuts

I’m in Marietta for a few last days packing my life into more bags than I arrived with when my plane landed in April. I’ve managed to accumulate quite a bit of stuff during my unexpected extended stay, but I just might have room for a few doughnuts for the plane if I can convince my daughter to stop on our way to the airport early next week. I think I can find a bit of room to carry them on the plane, but the real question might be will they last long enough to arrive?
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Riding Towards Rough Tor In My Dreams

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King Arthur's Hall & Rough Tor

I tend to see tough times as a challenge rather than a roadblock and I have a hard time giving up when I sometimes should, but my “Who says I can’t do that … ” attitude has been key to some of my achievements other people said would never happen.

There’s a kind of magic for me involved in making the difficult easy and it requires a mix of visualization and a dogged belief that if I want to do something bad enough, I can.

I tend to think of it as the three I’s and it’s a bit like having a portable Merlin in my head with Imagination, Inspiration and Imagery only waiting to be called upon to take me where I need to go when things get tough.

Being temporarily stuck here in America and so far from my husband John has required more than a few dips into my mental bag of tricks and while I feel fortunate to have friends and family helping me, I sometimes need something more to keep my spirits up. The spinning classes I’ve been taking over the last three weeks have been exactly what I’ve needed to balance the waiting game I’ve been forced to play.

Spinning regularly after a break of many years has been both exhilarating and tough. Like many women my age, I slipped away from a regular fitness routine mostly due to aging joints and injuries and with my love of sugar and carbs, the weight came faster than I could fight it.

I’ve been going to 4 to 6 classes a week over the last three weeks and the rewards are becoming obvious. It is not happening without effort and I have to frequently take myself to other places in my head when the instructor has us increasing the bike tension and climbing hills that require imagination to see and inspiration to reach.

I wanted to show you what I see when the going gets tough in class and I feel like I don’t have anymore to give. When that happens, I use imagery to take myself to a place that is so familiar I can see it just as it is in the photo above. It’s one I took in 2008 of  King Arthur’s Hall  with Rough Tor and Brown Willy in the background looking across Bodmin Moor.

Sometimes when I’m spinning, I even toss in a wild moorland pony or two and lean briefly to one side as I to swerve to avoid them on my climb to the finish.

What about you  … any secrets you want to share with the rest of us on what works for you when things get tough?

* Rough Tor is where I’m standing in my header at the top of my blog.

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Birthday Wishes & Sage Advice

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David Morris - London 2011

My dear friend David is one of my very best friends. Born five years before me, he is in many ways like the older brother I wish I’d had growing up. Interestingly we were both delivered by the same physician in the same hospital just as true siblings might have been. Part wise sage and part Santa Claus, he is generous with his gifts and a trusted friend and advisor.

Over three years ago on February 23, 2008, I sent him an email on the last day of my first visit with John. I told him all about my feelings for John and that even though it sounded crazy even to me, how I wanted to find a way to come back to him. Having a practical as well as romantic spirit, I knew he was the right person to reach out to when I was trying to decide on next steps back then.

I reread our emails from that period today and wanted to share a bit of what David said to calm my fears particularly about how fast everything was happening. Here is just a small part of what he said to me.

“Listen to your heart.

It’s a good one.

I know one when I see one.

But it is a muscle.

You do need to exercise it.

Use it.

Take a leap for good love.

For the metaphysical heart.

If you fall, all of us will welcome you and help you back on your feet.

If you succeed (and you will),

then we will all marvel at good love.

Restore our faith.

Be happy for you.

Rejoice.”

Wise words from a dear man who has had a tremendous impact on my life … all good and all so appreciated. It’s his birthday today and I was pleased to be able to share some of it this afternoon having a bit of fun and swapping stories. I wish you could have been there.

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The Last Day Of Melanoma Awareness Month

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Some of you may know my story when it comes to melanoma. I wrote about it in detail here and I’ve shared stories of some special people in my life who died young from melanoma.

Marty and Jennifer both had an impact on my life well before cancer took them, but that they both died from melanoma connects me to them in ways deeper than just the good times we shared.

This video is one that has been making the rounds this month and I’ve seen it on a few blogs I visit. I almost skipped it thinking what else do I need to know about this dreadful disease, but I discovered a few facts I hadn’t known and it prompted me to write this post.

No matter if you’re 16 or past 70 like my friend Patrice’s mom, Marilyn, who died only seven months after her diagnosis, you need to know what melanoma looks like and how quickly it can take your life or the life of someone you love.

Spend a few minutes on The Skin Cancer Foundation’s site and forward this post or parts of it to people you love.

May is Melanoma Awareness Month and awareness can save your life. I know because it saved mine.

With my melanoma history, my daughter’s chances of skin cancer increase by 50%. Sunscreen and skin checks by a dermatologist are vital along with a good awareness of how her moles normally look so she can tell if they change in any way. She would likely say I was a bit of a nag as much as I talk to her about checkups and sunscreen, but watching people you love die from something that might  have been preventable is a horrible thing to witness.

Most people think they know enough about melanoma or they think it only affects you when you’re older, but sites like this one meant to educate a younger generation say that melanoma is the second leading cause of death in 15 to 30 year-olds. Facts like these are worth paying attention to so please listen and please talk to the people you love.

Don’t say goodbye to someone too soon.

A Last Goodbye - Patrice & Joe At Their Mother's Grave

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200-Year-Old Love Letter Inspires Online Serial Novel

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Graham Simpson (Internet Photo-Gloucestershire News)

Ideas can come from many places when I’m writing. Often it’s a product of my desire to know the rest of a news story and if there isn’t one available, my mind will certainly fill in the missing pieces. Such is the case with the serial novel I’m writing and posting on Gifts Of The Journey. If you missed the first two chapters, you can catch up by clicking here and here.

I’ll be writing a new ‘chapter ‘ each week, none of which will be too long to read in a few minutes online so don’t let the word chapter put you off. Even though I am having a good time with it and can see that some of you are too, I would love to see how much of an audience we can build together.

With that in mind, I’m hoping you will take a few minutes to send it friends, blog about it yourself, or post a link on your social networking sites especially as we are only two chapters in and it’s still easy to catch up.

I may not be Charles Dickens, (‘King’of the serial novel) but I do have an intriguing tale evolving in my head that I think you and possibly your friends will enjoy. Rest assured, I’m writing a chapter a week so it could go off in directions that haven’t occurred to me yet and every chapter is a bit of a surprise to me as well.

One thing I found about writing in this style is that once you put it out there, you can’t go back and change an event if you change your mind. You have to find a way to write your way out if you get stuck in the history of what you’ve written. It’s already happened to me a time or two and I’ve decided that I am loving the challenge this involves.

Background

Some of you may have noticed a similarity in ‘ Dear Madame’ to a recent news story and I want to share a bit of the details so you have an idea as to why some aspects of my story may seem familiar.

Earlier this year, an upholsterer in a shop in Tewkesbury, England found a 200-year-old love letter stuffed deep in an armchair purchased in France. After posting the letter on Facebook to have help in translating it, the romantic missive created a bit of media attention here in the UK when the BBC picked up the story. No one knows more than what is written in the letter and like many others, I wondered what the rest of the story might be.

Not long ago, I wrote a post challenging my readers to leave a comment so I might use one to write a mini short story. I found myself stopping at a point when there was still a story to be told although the story direction had not yet revealed itself to me.

Some of my readers seemed to enjoy it as much as I did and wished to hear more of the ‘Dear Madame ‘ storyline and it was while writing the next chapter that the idea came to me and the story of the two lovers and lost letter began to take shape.

Of course, the love letter is not the whole of the story, but only one part that will reveal itself as the story progresses. I hope you come back and see where it goes each week and thanks for sharing it with others in your world.

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4/16/07 – A VT Mom Remembers

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Virginia Tech 4.17.07

We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid. We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imaginations and the possibilities. We will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears and through all our sadness.

~ Nikki Giovanni

I woke this morning to see this quote on my daughter Miranda’s Facebook page along with a few words of her own noting the significance of this day for her and for many associated with Virginia Tech and its community. She has shared with me some of the private ways she remembers the 32 who died that day and I’m grateful that she has found a way to honor their memory in a way that hopefully gives her some sense of peace.

I say hopefully, and peace, with more optimism than I really feel because I’m not sure how one who has been in the middle of something so violent and unexplainable can ever really let go of some of the questions that have no answers.

This is not the first time I’ve written about this day and likely won’t be the last. I know the events of 4.16.07 have had a lasting impact on my daughter and I worry as a mother does about the silent sorrows that remain hers alone, the thoughts she chooses not share.

My father died 20 years ago, long before Miranda could know him well enough to have any memory of him and for the last few weeks I have been hearing something he wrote. It’s been in my head on an endless repeat cycle almost in the way you hear a tune that won’t go away and I’ve been puzzled as to why until just this minute as I was considering my daughter and how inadequate I’ve felt over the last four years watching her deal with her memories on her own.

People we love reach out to us in their own time or sometimes not at all and if it’s your child, watching from the sidelines can be a difficult position to occupy. I tend to be emotional and very open with my feelings, giving in easily to my tears now after years of holding back. Miranda is more stoic and more like my dad, tender-hearted for sure but private and contained. It’s interesting that I’d not noticed that similarity until today and it comforts me to feel as if my dad were reaching out in a way with some paternal advice reminding me of who I once was and how our positions are now reversed.

The words that have been with me the last few weeks seem perfect in this moment and the meaning clear as I struggle with my own memories and search for ways to support a daughter who seems fine on her own. I am quoting my father when I say to my daughter as he once quietly said to me, ” I am here as you need me. “

And I add to his words my own, saying, ” In this, and in all things, I am here as you need me “

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Working On “Dear Madame”

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Elizabeth Harper - Outside London Apple Store (photo by sister Margaret)

After taking a poll last week to determine which day most of my readers would like to read more of Dear Madame, I decided to go with Friday. It was suggested most often as the best day to read a serial novel installment and it was my first choice too. I’m working on Chapter 2 now and will have it up later today. If you haven’t read the first chapter, you may want have a look here, so this next one makes sense.

Update: Sorry to miss my deadline, but I’ve had some issues that have kept me from my desk much of today leaving the installment unfinished. Look for the update on Sunday and I promise to deliver.