Category Archives: One Word – Encourage

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Why Some Goals Are Easier To Complete Than Others And Some Lessons You Never Forget

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My daughter took up knitting when she was student at Virginia Tech and after she made a scarf for me and later some blankets and other things, I asked her to teach me how to knit. I picked out a yarn that I thought would be soft around her neck and had a mix of her school colors and after she started it for me, I set to work to complete it.

What I overlooked was that she doesn’t wear scarves, not now, not ever. I am known for almost always having one looped around my neck in all kinds of weather and I’ve worn them since my mid-twenties so it’s rare to see a photo of me through the years without one, but Miranda doesn’t wear them.

She did try to tell me this more than a time or two, and it took me a year of ripping out mistakes and redoing it before I heard her. I was so intent on presenting my first project to her especially as she had introduced me to it, that I never thought that this gift was more about me than it was her.

Miranda took me through the basic stitch so many times when I saw her over the last year that you think I could have worked it out, but I had such trouble with it that I began to knit only at the pub on quiz nights when my friend Jean could fix it for me when I made a mistake.

In the end, I shipped it unfinished to Georgia with my knitting needles to wait for our arrival from our New Zealand trip with the hopes of finishing it before Christmas. By Christmas day it was a major mess and when I showed it to her after lunch, unfinished and still on the knitting needles, she suggested gently that while I was good at many things, knitting did not seem like one of them.

There was something in the way she said that along with repeating once again that she did not wear scarves that I finally heard and suddenly I was able to let go of my need to finish the thing!

So she tied it off for me and I decided that I would give it to her dog for a neck warmer at least for purposes of a photo shoot because he doesn’t wear scarves either. Even though he won’t wear it again, it didn’t look so bad on him.

Afterwards, I told John that having tried my hand with the first one, I had some lovely yarn in just his color. He has not really protested, but thinking about it now, I am not sure I have ever seen him in a scarf either.

 

Life In The UK Test

There are still some things I seem to still be able to pull off with a better outcome than my knitting experience and the letter and news above was really big for me. I shared it yesterday on Facebook and received so many lovely responses that I was quite overwhelmed by all the support and since some of my readers only see me here, I wanted to tell you my news as well.

There are many steps on the way to being able to stay in the UK and most people assume if you marry a Brit it’s an easy-peasy process. Except for shaving a few years off the time it takes to become a British citizen, married folks go though the same process as everyone else.

Yesterday, I completed a major step in my goal to stay in the UK with John. I passed the Life in the UK test!

My next immigration appointment is on the calendar and if all goes well, I will have my Indefinite Leave to Remain approved after we are interviewed in a few weeks. Passing the UK life test was necessary to complete before the interview so I managed it just in time. I had mistakenly thought it was not required until you applied for a dual citizenship so I was on a tight timeline to get it done.

After I get though the next stage in a few weeks, I can apply within a certain period of time to become a naturalized citizen and have the right among other things, to vote, run for public office, and carry a British passport.

I don’t have to give up my American citizenship to do this and will have a dual citizenship when I finish the process.

I do want to acknowledge my long time friend Diane and her unknowing help with my test yesterday. We were roommates during my first year and her last at the university we attended together in New York. After she graduated, I transferred to the University of Georgia and she spent a year with an élite group of educators traveling and teaching University students study skills they might have missed in high school.

As a nontraditional student, I was older and had already served in the army and even though I was doing well in my classes, I spent many, many, hours studying to make this happen.

When Diane came to town in 1985 to spend a few weeks with the brainy young women of Agnes Scott, a college in Atlanta, she took a some time to show me a few things about note taking and review which changed my life and still help me to this day.

I kept the book she left for years until Miranda went off to VA Tech and I offered it to her in case she found she needed help to keep up. I don’t think she ever used it and I cannot remember the name of the book, but I will send a link to Diane in hopes that she can leave the title in a comment below.

Long story today to talk about lessons learned, but I did want to acknowledge how Diane’s help back in 1985 made prepping for the important test I took yesterday fairly easy and made me feel pretty confident going in to it.

If you live in the UK and want to test how much you know about your own country, you can take an online official practice test of 24 questions by going here.

I want to thank Miranda too for her patience in teaching me how to knit and let her know that I may try to make something else for her in a few years after (if) I manage to finish John’s scarf.

 

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Completion – 2011 Is About – Completion

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I chose this photo John took of me because it looks as if I am a bit overwhelmed which is how I feel at times heading into this new year thinking of all that must be completed.

Creative projects and story ideas trail after me like streaming ribbons on a kite’s tail each temporarily aloft when the power of a strong wind lifts them or my feet move fast enough to keep them up in the air. Never one to be at a loss for inspiration, I struggle with another aspect which is equally important … completion.

This is not to say that I don’t get things done because I recognize the power I have to do what some might consider impossible. My history is made up of multiple instances where even I can look back and say with a bit of astonishment, ” How did I do that ? ”

But when it comes to some of the more creative things, I tend to get bogged down in details that can derail an idea or project fairly quickly pushing it to the backseat while the newer, prettier one gets to sit up front with me like a favored child for the day.

While I often take huge leaps of faith in some areas, when it comes to the creative areas of my life, I tend to research too long or look to those who have gone before for guidance and direction when if I just get in the car and go, basic directions and intuition can usually take me to the place I need to be.

I have a long list of things which must be completed in 2011 some of which are practical and important for everyday life while others are necessary for my creative spirit which is really my foundation and a sort of gas tank that fuels my enthusiasm for daily life.

January is all about the practical as immigration issues loom large with testing, large cash outlays, appointments, and interviews, all requiring my immediate and focused attention. Add to that, my UK driving test must be taken with both theory and practical tests as I have been here way too long to be driving with my American license and you may begin to see why I am obsessing a bit about completion.

While John and I together and individually had the good fortune to spend much of 2010 traveling, this year will find me staying and working on projects closer to our home in Cornwall. I am looking forward to planting myself in one place for the bulk of the year with only short trips away and a few extended visits to see my family in America. Knowing from experience what it takes for me to accomplish a task, I think some of my many creative goals will certainly be able to be completed during this new year.

One of my Big Bag Of Dreams Goals that I spoke about here will have to wait another year even though it’s been throughly researched and planned. Based on where I am with other goals on my list, hosting my BBOD’s workshop this year feels like skipping a few chapters when reading a ” how to ” book so I am putting it in the backseat until next year. The favored front seat has a long list of occupants waiting for their spin around the block and if I can keep the pushing and shoving to a minimum, I think I might be able to give most them a turn.

Completion is often defined as ” The act or process of completing or the quality or state of being complete. ”

While I don’t feel a need to tick off boxes each day to note what I’ve accomplished, I do see how the act of completing certain goals can help one feel more complete, a word which in its first part is defined as ” having all necessary parts. ”

In 2011, I will be working on completion. Have you chosen a word to guide you through this year or a particular goal that tops your list? If you have, please share it below and include a link if you’ve written about it somewhere. Feel free to think about it and come back later to share too.

Here’s to dreaming and doing in this new year !

I want to thank Marie Scudder for her post over at Vision and Verb today. My one word post for 2011 was still trying to gel until I read what she had to say in her piece, ” Paper and String.”

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Looking Back At 2010 & One Word-Encourage

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New Year's Eve - December 31, 2009

In January of 2010, I wrote a post where I revealed that my word for that year would be ” Encourage.” You can read why I chose it by clicking on the highlighted word, encourage.

Following the lead of several bloggers I had long admired, I chose a word that I thought might help me be more mindful of those who by word or action had a positive effect on my life or the lives of others.

Whenever the opportunity presented, I included links and names so my readers might also enjoy the gifts that some of the people I noted here brought to my life.

During the year, I never bothered to keep track of how many times I used the word encourage or the category, ” One Word – Encourage.” Looking back earlier today, I discovered 33 posts with stories and links to people who inspired me and in their way provided a bit of encouragement without even knowing it.

As 2010 moves aside for 2011, I wanted to share a link to those 33 posts in case you need a bit a light in your life right now and if there is someone who has been an encouraging presence in your life, please feel free to leave a comment about them below. If it is a place or an experience rather than a person, I hope you will share that with us as well.

Warmest wishes to each of you for a Happy New Year and many thanks for stopping by to read or comment.

33 Posts meant to Encourage:

1) I began the year with a walk in the snow and shared a bit of my neighborhood and the people who live there.

2) John helped me provide a special image for you when I wrote about ” The Dance Of Life.”

3) ” Seeing The Boundary Stones ” was a thank you of sorts for some encouraging comments from my readers when I was feeling kind of blue.

4) Only a few months after taking what would turn out to be our last walk with a dear friend, I wrote about her in ” The Last Walk – Measured Steps.”

5) ” The Light Of Friendship,” does not need an explaination … just thanks.

6) A clear example of how ” Believing Can Make It So.”

7) In ” Reaching For More, “ I encourage you to stop by my friend Mariellen’s place after sharing another one of my stories first.

8 )  ” Hanging On When It Looks Hopeless “ is about a gift I learned from my darling husband John.

9) More words of gratitude for my readers and their kind comments in what followed after a difficult time while “ Cleaning Out The Attic.”

10) This one addresses some heavy mother-daughter stuff and links to a few people in, ” I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends.”

11)  After the death of actress Dixie Carter, I wrote a little something that included a significant woman in my life in ” Dixie Carter – A Strong Southern Woman.”

12)  A joyful story of how a group of women brought about something close to a miracle with hope, hard work, and belief. It is way more uplifting than the title, ” Bringing It to The Masses – No More Twitter Bashing. “

13)  This has to be read … I can’t explain ” When Grief Comes Without Warning “ without crying.

14)  ” A Leaping Ginger Cat Takes Flight “ helped me share a course designed to help creative types become airborne.

15)  I linked outrageously in this post where I gushed about my new blog crush. Penelope Trunk is a woman who continually shocks me with a fair amount of what she has to say and while I don’t always agree with her, I always leave thinking something new.

16)  ” Mister Rogers & Me – A Nantucket Film Festival “ shares the film success of couple of brothers who tell the story of Fred Rogers and his impact on the life of one of the brothers.

17)  I take you on a little ” Walk In The Park With Mariellen Romer “ in this post. It’s a sweet trip about reaching for your dreams.

18) ” Chewing On A Dreamy Idea ” is about inspiration and some of the places it came from for me last year.

19)  Letters from friends and how RSS feeds are like a modern-day mail box are only part of the story in ” RSS Feeds – Like Getting A Letter From A Friend. “

20) I wrote, ” Building A Home One Mouthful At A Time “ while considering how others accomplish difficult tasks.

21)  More special stories and moments from my past in ” Sharing A Story – My Teary Moment With Kenny Loggins. “

22)  I talked a bit more about the process and linked to some inspiration in ” Kelly Rae Roberts – Taking Control With Flying Lessons. “

23) ” Missing The Good Stuff “ has a link you really ought to see.

24)  This post was all about asking for what you want in ” Someone From Evansville Indiana Has The Ability To Change My Life.”

25)  I was a lady in waiting holding my breath here when I wrote, ” No Word From Evansville But Gifts Of Another Kind Instead.”

26)  Remember what I said about asking for what you want … this was a gift of enormous proportions for me as I was able to heal in part a bad memory when my Evansville reader responded to post 24. I shared her message in ” Welcoming Rita From Evansville Indiana.” Thanks again Rita!

27)  A post about being saved as a child and drowning is part of this post in ” When Drowning – Remember – Hope Floats. “

28)  Carolyn and Kim always inspire through their own blogs or by the things they say in comments. I had a chance to meet up with Kim on a trip to Paris and I talk about our meeting and her in ” To Carolyn From Paris. “

29)  In these tough financial times I found Donna Freedman a great person to check in with for consumer tips and she shows up in a Paris post titled ” Shakespeare And Company – Surviving And Thriving. “

30)  This mega cool post is where I make my music video début courtesy of my friend Benjamin Wagner’s ‘Forever Young video.

31) ” Special Delivery – First Giveaway Produces A Winner ” documented my first giveaway when I gifted a copy the music CD ‘ Forever Young’ to one of my readers.

32)  I was grateful for reader support in ” One Step At A Time “ where I talked about receiving a rejection for a job involving writing.

33)  ” Mother Love – Quietly Sharing The Wisdom “ shares a story of how I met a blogging friend in New Zealand and the impact of her words.

Whew! 33 links is a lot of work … I hope you enjoy a look back as much as I did. Feel free to pass all or some of this post on to someone you think might need a little encouragement and I’ll be back with more in 2011.

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Mother Love – Quietly Sharing The Wisdom

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Today I had a chance to meet a blogging friend that I came to know several years ago through her powerful words and images. She begins and ends blogs from time to time deleting posts as she changes her creative direction, but she is always constant with a wisdom that goes well beyond her physical years.

Hay short for Hayley is mother to four daughters the eldest of which is poised and ready for her teen years … a time that most mothers worry will be their undoing. It hardly seems possible that a woman who looks as young as Hay could have had time to birth the girls who are just as darling in person as they have appeared in photographs on her blog pages in the past.

Although I am eighteen years older than Hay and technically old enough to be her mother, I always, always, learn something when we communicate online and now in person like today. Mothering a new little life to adulthood is difficult and most of us just stumble our way through much of the time trying to do the best we can with what we know.

Some women seem born to be mothers and they nurture quite naturally a larger circle than the children at home who call them mom. They pass out reassuring words and alternative possibilities like cookies and juice at a blood drive and do it in a way that seems as easy and natural as breathing. Hay is one of those who can shift your focus with her own honesty and soothe a worried mind with only a word or two.

She and her husband Roger took time today to come down to Rotorua so we could get together for a little while. I so appreciate having a chance to hug and share stories in person. I have said this before and it is still true it really is wonderful and affirming when people you get to know through blogging turn out to be just as you imagined they might be in real life.

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One Step At A Time

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The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…

one step at a time.

~ Joe Girard

My sister Margaret gets the credit for the photo of me climbing the 280 steps to the top inside the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. I thought this photograph was a good one to use in a thank you to all of the readers and friends who took time to leave a supportive message with regard to my writing and ever so slight disappointment over receiving a polite  ” not interested ” response from the newspaper I queried recently.

I have found such fine support for the writing I do here and I am never sure I let you know how much it is appreciated. Mary from A Breath of Fresh Air left me a very kind comment yesterday about writing a book, in which she said she that she would not hesitate to gift a collection of stories taken from my blog to her friends. It was just the lift I needed yesterday to pick up my pace mentally and refocus on the steps before me.

Thanks again to all who visit here at Gifts Of The Journey and thanks for your support.

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Special Delivery – First Giveaway Produces A Winner

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Most of you are probably aware that last week I held my first giveaway, but you may not have gone back to check to see if you might have won. I borrowed the image above from Benjamin Wagner to show you just what Cindy won when her number came up using random.org to help choose a winner.

Benjamin used one of his images of his daughter to grace the cover of his new release, ” Forever Young “ and I am happy to say that Cindy’s copy is on its way. I could not wait to get mine and downloaded it from iTunes after writing my post about how Benjamin had included an image of me and others in the music video for ” Forever Young.”

I ordered Cindy’s copy from CD Baby and after receiving this funny little thank you and update from them, I have to say that I kind of prefer their endearing bit of marketing mixed in with what is clearly good customer service. I’ve included the email content below so you can have a smile too.

Thanks again to all who took time to enter the contest and congratulations to Cindy.

CD Baby’s Email:

Elizabeth-

Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

USPS

(1) Benjamin Wagner: Forever Young

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved “Bon Voyage!” to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, October 12, 2010.
We hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. In commemoration, we have placed your picture on our wall as “Customer of the Year.” We’re all exhausted but can’t wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sigh…
We miss you already. We’ll be right here at http://cdbaby.com/, patiently awaiting your return.
—
CD Baby
The little store with the best new independent music.
http://cdbaby.com cdbaby@cdbaby.com (503)595-3000

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Benjamin Wagner’s Video Has Made Me “Forever Young”

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I have been inspired to write about Benjamin Wagner and his passionate pursuits several times in the past. If you have not had a chance to read this post or the one that followed, please click on the links and take a minute to get a bit more background on Benjamin.

In my first post back in July of 2008, I explained how I found Benjamin online through a piece he had written about Fred Rogers who is better known by most people as ” Mister Rogers.”

What I didn’t say was that I actually introduced myself to Benjamin through an email more than a year earlier in May 2007 when I wrote to him and said among other things that I had an image in my mind of him performing one day in front of many children. For a rock and roll artist and MTV executive, this might have seemed alarming on two levels.

I was a little concerned that he might think, ” Who does this crazy woman think she is writing to tell me her vision of my future ” and I also imagined he might think that playing his songs for children was too far removed from the dreams of rock and roll stardom he may have imagined when he was writing for Rolling Stone Magazine online.

That he took the time to send me a gracious and thoughtful response impressed me and reaffirmed that sometimes people are exactly who they seem to be. We had an opportunity to meet in person later that same year when we happened to be in Las Vegas at the same time. He was there preparing for an MTV awards night and when I stopped by without warning, he took the time to come out and say hello in person even though he was just about to begin a big meeting with his team of folks. I was once again impressed by the way he was consistently warm and approachable.

It has been a fun ride to watch as he continued to make and release his own CD’s while moving even further up the ranks at MTV taking on bigger titles and more responsibility. Since I began to follow his words and music, Benjamin has married Abbi and they welcomed their first child a few months ago, a precious daughter they call Maggie.

During all this he also found time along with his brother Christofer, to complete their documentary, ” Mister Rogers and Me,” which has been viewed by audiences at several significant film festivals and is already winning awards.

The reason however for my post today and the explanation for the title above is that Benjamin Wagner has a new CD release aimed directly at the ears of a younger audience while still managing to hold the musical attention of his older fans as well. It was no surprise to me that a little more than three years after I had an intuitive flash of Benjamin with an audience of children gathered around him, he and his band mates played an early show for a group of little ones.

I am so pleased to be a part of his “Forever Young” video. Not long ago Benjamin sent out a call for childhood images from his virtual ” neighborhood ” so I emailed mine and forgot about it until yesterday when I saw the video première.

I was giddily surprised to see myself as the first child in his video showcasing the faces of those who will stay forever young.(at least on the video) You can’t miss me, along with being the first face you see, I’m the one wearing an early look of deep contemplation and a puffy blue dress.

Benjamin tells you why he decided to record his ” Forever Young ” CD in a post over at his place and you can read about it by clicking on this link.

You can purchase ” Forever Young “ one song at a time or all ten songs at once by going to iTunes which exactly what I’ll be doing in a minute. By Monday you will be able to buy it through Authentic Records and CDBaby if you prefer.

I’ve had a chance to hear all the songs and find Benjamin’s version of some of my favorites as enjoyable as the babes who are just beginning their journey will.

I lifted this information which so fits with who Benjamin is directly from his blog,

” Proceeds will be donated to The Fred Rogers Center and The Campaign For A Commercial-Free Childhood. Though neither is affiliated with the project in any way, we believe strongly in supporting their efforts towards advancing early learning and children’s media.”

Since he’s doing his bit to give of himself, I thought I would give a little too.

Today marks my first giveaway!

I will be giving away a copy of ” Forever Young ” to someone who leaves a comment below. If by some miracle I happen to at least get 100 comments, I’ll give away three copies.

My goal is two-fold … to share the work of this kind-hearted and multi-talented man and to help with his efforts to raise money that supports early learning for children and reinforces the deep and simple philosophy of Fred Rogers. You have until this Friday at 2:00 am Eastern Standard Time to comment and enter. Good Luck!

To hear more songs from ” Forever Young ” you can click here to listen to all ten tunes. If you want more chances to win and at the same time do a good thing with little effort, leave me a comment below and forward this post along to your friends and family.

Special thanks to Benjamin for helping this newly turned 50 year-old stay,

” Forever Young.”

 

Big CONGRATULATIONS to Cindy! Her number came up when I used Random.org to do the hard work for me. Cindy please contact me by email with an address, and I’ll have your copy sent to you directly from New York. Thanks to everyone who took time to comment. If you bought a ” Forever Young ” CD, I would love to hear your thoughts in followup. Thanks again for reading and commenting.

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Shakespeare And Company – Surviving And Thriving

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Elizabeth Harper - Shakespeare And Company - 2010

Some of you may be thinking,” What does the famous Shakespeare And Company bookstore in Paris have to do with Surviving And Thriving? ” Aside from the obvious fact that American George Whitman’s bookstore has survived and thrived since he established it in 1951 across from Notre Dame, today’s post has to do with the ways in which we may unknowingly affect others in the blogging community.

I can’t remember if I visited this bookstore the first time I came to Paris in 1980, but I do have a photograph of myself standing in front of it in 2000 and again in 2009. While it may seem pretty touristy to have your picture taken in front of such a well-known shop, it has become a bit of a tradition for me now to stop by George Whitman’s eclectic bookstore to see what’s happening.

It’s funny how people pop into your mind when going through your day and when I mentioned to Donna Freedman in an email recently that I thought of her during my trip to Paris last month and she could not imagine how or why Paris might have triggered a thought about her. It makes perfect sense to me as I am sure it will you once I share a few things about the day.

You may remember that I have mentioned Donna in the past. She writes a great deal about living frugally and makes it sound almost like a game to enjoy versus anything close to deprivation. While strolling in and out of various places in Paris, there were endless opportunities to open my wallet and spend on things I did not need. I found myself having conversations in my head that generally went something like, ” Oh, isn’t that just the cutest thing, maybe I should get it to help remember my trip to Paris.”

Never mind that I had already accumulated about 3,000 photographs of Paris to help trigger my memory, while walking through Shakespeare And Company I decided ever so briefly that I needed another canvas tote. How many of these bags I currently have did not even matter when I discovered the cool bag in the photo below. I went back and forth, buy it – don’t by it … until finally I thought about what would Donna do and I put it back.

Bag Design By Badaude And Image From Her Site

It was a lovely bag by Badaude and I would have snatched it up in a hurry if I did not already own more bags than I have use for, but that did not stop me from considering several books just as I always do. I was on the verge of another purchase when I picked up the book below. (The full image is in the first photograph)

It’s Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich and finding it reminded me of how many in the US are struggling just to get by and how the scarcity of jobs has many people working for far less than they would have considered in the past. That thought led me to frugality, which once again made me think of Donna Freedman and even though she didn’t write this book, I still said to my sister, ” Take my picture for Donna.”

Earlier this morning I finished reading a piece she wrote for Get Rich Slowly that has tons of information and tips for both the underemployed and the unemployed. Donna writes regularly at MSN Money as well and has her own site that I mentioned in the title above. She also has a contest every week over at her blog home, Surviving And Thriving and even though I have not won anything yet, I feel like I take something away with me every time I stop by to see what she has to say.

So there it is, a message about how Donna Freedman inspired a thought and photograph in front of a famous bookstore, in the shadow of Notre Dame. It could be you next time.

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To Carolyn From Paris

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I have said this before and it is still true that one of the best things about blogging are the friends you make online. If you are lucky, you may have a chance to meet in person and tonight was one of those magic nights where once you get past hello, you laugh and talk like old friends who have been sharing secrets forever.

Kim and I have been reading each other’s blogs and corresponding through email for longer than I can remember and I have always enjoyed her blog, Sassiland where she writes mostly about her life in Paris.

I was totally enchanted by her romantic heart when she went to the gravesite in Paris where I’d left my wedding bouquet when John and I were here on our honeymoon and I loved how she took the time to send me a photo showing me that my flowers were still there several weeks later.

Back in April of 2009, I was pleasantly surprised to see a message on another blogging friend’s site directed at me. While on a trip to Paris in 2009, Carolyn, who blogs at My Sydney Paris Life had chance to meet Kim and together they sent me a little message that you can see here.

Tonight after being treated to a lovely dinner at a Paris café by Kim, we snapped a photo for Carolyn who is home in Australia. Well, we think she’s home in Australia now. Carolyn is such a woman on the move it can be hard to track where she and her partner Clive might be and although her blog is about more than just travel, if travel tips are what you need, her space is loaded with great planning ideas.

I took the photograph below in the evening light of the café so it’s not my best work, but I think the message on the map is clear and that’s what is important. (Hello Carolyn, wish you were here)

Elizabeth & Kim

I have to say too that Kim very thoughtfully remembered my birthday with a sweet-filled cup that I loved at once. If you followed the extension posts I wrote about John giving me a room of my own for a writing studio then you will understand her reason for choosing the one she did.

It was a wonderful way to bring our Paris visit to a close. Margaret and I will be seeing the last of the sights tomorrow and then we’re off to Cornwall to rest up for John’s birthday followed the next day by Margaret’s. Thanks for following us around Paris this week. I hope you’ve had as much fun as we have.

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.

~ Virginia Woolf

 

 

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When Drowning – Remember – Hope Floats

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He had a head full of hair bleached almost white from his days lifeguarding in the sun and long tanned legs covered with tiny hairs so blond they shimmered like a million curly threads of gold. You might not think this would be my overriding memory of the day I almost drowned, but it remains a strong image almost 38 years later.

I don’t remember names easily and have a variety of mnemonic devices I use when meeting new people, but I remember his name, the golden boy who was almost a man that summer who quietly saved me from drowning in a lake at summer camp. Other children splashed and played barely noticing as he dove into the water and made his way to me.

In the moment I saw him coming, I realized how badly I was struggling to keep my head above water having worn myself out trying to swim to a raft anchored in the center of the lake. There were older and bigger kids playing and resting around it and I wanted to join them and set off without thinking too much about the distance.

Due to lack of experience, I was not as strong a swimmer as the others and all my desire and belief in my ability couldn’t save me, but Gordon did. Gordie, as the other campers called him when giggling about his good looks came across the lake in a flash and gently flipped me over onto my back talking softly to me as I floated my way back to shore.

I remember feeling ashamed and slightly babyish worried about what the other kids might think, but no one really noticed. Another key thing I remember is that I never made a sound. No cries for help, no waving for someone’s attention … I just struggled in the water while life went on around me.

I read a post this morning about how easy it is to miss the signs of drowning and it occurred to me how often in life we may feel as if we are going under for the last time even when there is no water involved.

Sometimes it’s life that pulls us under and it can happen in sight of the shore surrounded by people we know. It can be difficult to determine when someone needs just a bit of assistance like the gentle guidance of Gordon that day or someone requiring full on resuscitation.

If I had only remembered what I already knew, I would have flipped over on my back and floated until I was rested enough to go on. Fear took over when I became overtired and I lost all sense of reason. Looking back now, I can see the larger lesson of that day.

Years later I saw a movie where Sandra Bullock’s character Birdie tells her daughter,

“Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That’s what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will … “

I thought the poem below might be good for Penelope Trunk who writes her own poetry here and for anyone else struggling today.

Lie back daughter, let your head

be tipped back in the cup of my hand.

Gently, and I will hold you. Spread

your arms wide, lie out on the stream

and look high at the gulls. A dead-man’s

float is face down. You will dive

and swim soon enough where this tidewater

ebbs to the sea. Daughter, believe me,

when you tire on the long thrash

to your island, lie up, and survive.

As you float now, where I held you

and let go, remember when fear

cramps your heart and what I told you:

lie gently and wide to the light-year

starts, lie back, and the sea will hold you.

– Philip Booth