Monthly Archives: January 2011

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Speaking My Language

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In yesterday’s post, I talked about Love Languages and how we communicate and said I would be back to share the results of my assessment with you. It’s no surprise to me that of the five areas that Gary Chapman identifies in his book The 5 Love Languages, the one that ranks highest for me is what he refers to as, ” Acts of Service ” with “Words of Affirmation ” close behind.

I have included a couple of photos of John doing the service part. While we were home in Atlanta for Christmas week, he raked and bagged all of leaves around the house I still own in Atlanta. I did not even have to ask. I had arranged for the man who cuts the grass to do it, but he was waiting until after Christmas and being concerned about how shabby it looked and how it might be affecting the grass, I decided to do it myself. There were some immediate things I needed to attend to inside the house first and by the time I was ready to move outside to the yard work, John picked up a rake and attacked the problem by himself.

I know this front yard looks tiny and you’re thinking, ” How much work can that really be? ”  The back yard is only a little larger, but the leaves seem to multiply or get blown in from my neighbor’s yards so it’s always a huge task every year and one I usually do alone.

John did all the work without a single grumble during or after and when it was all done had 40 bags of leaves lined up against the fence. That’s exactly what I mean by ” Acts of Service. ”  I think the quiz is especially useful when you think you may be saying or doing all the right things to show your love, but your spouse or partner is acting as if they are not feeling it.

For example, giving me an expensive gift is never a good way to show me love especially if money is tight because I will just worry about the cost. Worry = stress which is never a ” gift of love ” for me. Men might be surprised how many women feel this way. I have jokingly said many times that when it comes to seduction, a foot rub can be way more effective than a diamond bracelet for most women.

How about you … did any of you take the assessment?


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Love Languages And Connection

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We were leaving Auckland last November to begin our tour of North Island when I noticed the man on the motorcycle in front of us. I could see the city reflected in his helmet, but what made me lift my camera was the love message written on the round rearview mirror on the right side of his bike. Do you see it … the heart with two small xx’s underneath?

I have been thinking a great deal lately about the ways in which we communicate and particularly with the people we love. It is a huge topic with endless amounts of information available in bookstores or a quick click or two on our computers. It’s a great source of frustration for many and one most of us will spend hours of our lives discussing at some point.

One of my favorite books on this topic has been around for some time and when I went to the website of Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, I found the short assessment that I took a few years ago. Back then it reaffirmed what I already knew about myself but more importantly, it gave me an easy and concise way to share how I interpret love when trying to explain it to others.

There are some additional assessments added that deal with children and a few other topics that you might find a worthwhile use of your time especially if you’ve been feeling disconnected lately from the important people in your life.

Have a look and let me know what you think and I will be back tomorrow to share my assessment and tell you which love language I speak.

 

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Completion – 2011 Is About – Completion

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I chose this photo John took of me because it looks as if I am a bit overwhelmed which is how I feel at times heading into this new year thinking of all that must be completed.

Creative projects and story ideas trail after me like streaming ribbons on a kite’s tail each temporarily aloft when the power of a strong wind lifts them or my feet move fast enough to keep them up in the air. Never one to be at a loss for inspiration, I struggle with another aspect which is equally important … completion.

This is not to say that I don’t get things done because I recognize the power I have to do what some might consider impossible. My history is made up of multiple instances where even I can look back and say with a bit of astonishment, ” How did I do that ? ”

But when it comes to some of the more creative things, I tend to get bogged down in details that can derail an idea or project fairly quickly pushing it to the backseat while the newer, prettier one gets to sit up front with me like a favored child for the day.

While I often take huge leaps of faith in some areas, when it comes to the creative areas of my life, I tend to research too long or look to those who have gone before for guidance and direction when if I just get in the car and go, basic directions and intuition can usually take me to the place I need to be.

I have a long list of things which must be completed in 2011 some of which are practical and important for everyday life while others are necessary for my creative spirit which is really my foundation and a sort of gas tank that fuels my enthusiasm for daily life.

January is all about the practical as immigration issues loom large with testing, large cash outlays, appointments, and interviews, all requiring my immediate and focused attention. Add to that, my UK driving test must be taken with both theory and practical tests as I have been here way too long to be driving with my American license and you may begin to see why I am obsessing a bit about completion.

While John and I together and individually had the good fortune to spend much of 2010 traveling, this year will find me staying and working on projects closer to our home in Cornwall. I am looking forward to planting myself in one place for the bulk of the year with only short trips away and a few extended visits to see my family in America. Knowing from experience what it takes for me to accomplish a task, I think some of my many creative goals will certainly be able to be completed during this new year.

One of my Big Bag Of Dreams Goals that I spoke about here will have to wait another year even though it’s been throughly researched and planned. Based on where I am with other goals on my list, hosting my BBOD’s workshop this year feels like skipping a few chapters when reading a ” how to ” book so I am putting it in the backseat until next year. The favored front seat has a long list of occupants waiting for their spin around the block and if I can keep the pushing and shoving to a minimum, I think I might be able to give most them a turn.

Completion is often defined as ” The act or process of completing or the quality or state of being complete. ”

While I don’t feel a need to tick off boxes each day to note what I’ve accomplished, I do see how the act of completing certain goals can help one feel more complete, a word which in its first part is defined as ” having all necessary parts. ”

In 2011, I will be working on completion. Have you chosen a word to guide you through this year or a particular goal that tops your list? If you have, please share it below and include a link if you’ve written about it somewhere. Feel free to think about it and come back later to share too.

Here’s to dreaming and doing in this new year !

I want to thank Marie Scudder for her post over at Vision and Verb today. My one word post for 2011 was still trying to gel until I read what she had to say in her piece, ” Paper and String.”