Tag Archives: Gary Chapman

Speaking My Language

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In yesterday’s post, I talked about Love Languages and how we communicate and said I would be back to share the results of my assessment with you. It’s no surprise to me that of the five areas that Gary Chapman identifies in his book The 5 Love Languages, the one that ranks highest for me is what he refers to as, ” Acts of Service ” with “Words of Affirmation ” close behind.

I have included a couple of photos of John doing the service part. While we were home in Atlanta for Christmas week, he raked and bagged all of leaves around the house I still own in Atlanta. I did not even have to ask. I had arranged for the man who cuts the grass to do it, but he was waiting until after Christmas and being concerned about how shabby it looked and how it might be affecting the grass, I decided to do it myself. There were some immediate things I needed to attend to inside the house first and by the time I was ready to move outside to the yard work, John picked up a rake and attacked the problem by himself.

I know this front yard looks tiny and you’re thinking, ” How much work can that really be? ”  The back yard is only a little larger, but the leaves seem to multiply or get blown in from my neighbor’s yards so it’s always a huge task every year and one I usually do alone.

John did all the work without a single grumble during or after and when it was all done had 40 bags of leaves lined up against the fence. That’s exactly what I mean by ” Acts of Service. ”  I think the quiz is especially useful when you think you may be saying or doing all the right things to show your love, but your spouse or partner is acting as if they are not feeling it.

For example, giving me an expensive gift is never a good way to show me love especially if money is tight because I will just worry about the cost. Worry = stress which is never a ” gift of love ” for me. Men might be surprised how many women feel this way. I have jokingly said many times that when it comes to seduction, a foot rub can be way more effective than a diamond bracelet for most women.

How about you … did any of you take the assessment?


Love Languages And Connection

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We were leaving Auckland last November to begin our tour of North Island when I noticed the man on the motorcycle in front of us. I could see the city reflected in his helmet, but what made me lift my camera was the love message written on the round rearview mirror on the right side of his bike. Do you see it … the heart with two small xx’s underneath?

I have been thinking a great deal lately about the ways in which we communicate and particularly with the people we love. It is a huge topic with endless amounts of information available in bookstores or a quick click or two on our computers. It’s a great source of frustration for many and one most of us will spend hours of our lives discussing at some point.

One of my favorite books on this topic has been around for some time and when I went to the website of Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, I found the short assessment that I took a few years ago. Back then it reaffirmed what I already knew about myself but more importantly, it gave me an easy and concise way to share how I interpret love when trying to explain it to others.

There are some additional assessments added that deal with children and a few other topics that you might find a worthwhile use of your time especially if you’ve been feeling disconnected lately from the important people in your life.

Have a look and let me know what you think and I will be back tomorrow to share my assessment and tell you which love language I speak.