A Big Serving Of Hate With A Side Order Of One Person’s Version Of Christian Love – No Friend Of Mine

Some people seem to have lost their minds over the election and not just people like Donald Trump.

My friends and family have remained civil over our political differences of opinion, as should be when people who care about each other disagree.

Some folks however, have gone into total meltdown mode and have been spewing some shocking rubbish.

And the really scary part is they actually believe what they’re saying. Heaven help us if these people have guns because they’ve been whipped up into such a frenzy who knows what they might do in the name of God.

They scare me.

The day after the election I was forced to ‘unfriend’ someone on Facebook. She’s the only person I’ve ever had to exclude from my Facebook life and ironically, for the second time. About a year ago, I don’t remember exactly when, I unfriended her the first time. We’d graduated from the same high school, although years apart and I never knew her. I had approved her request both times based on mutual friends I could see that we had in common. The first time I unfriended her had to do with what I considered to be aggressive over the top hate talk, but it was nothing like what she said on Wednesday after President Obama was re-elected.

I unfriended her quietly the first time and thought no more about her, but the problem was that she came back. After a some months I got a friend request from her and I must have not been paying attention because after seeing her connections to a lot of my high school friends, I accepted her friendship. This is a mistake that will not happen again!

I’ve omitted her name as I have no wish to shame this woman and she probably won’t even know this post has been written, but what would her Christian friends think about her hate filled rant … what about her adult children and her grandchildren?

It might be easy to just dismiss her as unhinged, hope she gets help, and move on, but she’s not alone and that’s the really scary piece to me.

Most of you who’ve read my blog for a while know I have many questions about faith and God and how I feel. I’ve touched on it here before and I’ve been open about my doubting Thomas thoughts about the power of prayer, but I have to admit that lately I find myself whispering a few words that begin with ‘God,’ and end with ‘please, keep him safe,’ because I think President Obama needs some extra protective energy around him, especially now.

I don’t know what you’ve heard, but here’s a look at one person who while no longer in my social circle, is still very much out in the world sharing her message of hate while calling herself a good Christian.

(Internet Image)

This was the comment on Facebook that cause me to unfriend her:
“Obamacare will be the death of America!!! WE see what it has done to other countries and we don’t like it. We like our freedom of choice in doctors. We work hard and we deserve what we want and can pay for. Those living on welfare need to get off their ass and go to work!!!! I’m tired of keeping them up and all the give me programs out there. The US economy did not grow, it’s terrible! The number of people laid off work, loosing their homes, cars etc. If it grew it was the RICH that got richer from it. The news media would like you to think that because they are all corrupt liars! Obama is an EVIL, communist muslim! I doubt very seriously that any of it was legal. Blank panther parties keeping out voteres, maching going down, Am. soldiers votes lost…..blah blah blah!!!!!!! I don’t know where your from Claire but if you live in the US your in for a rude awakening. Wait and see! America is a nation divided …and a nation divided will fall!!!!!! A nation without God is doomed and that is what America has become. America has a disease….That disease is socialism with unlimited federal power and it will take the entire strength and will of the people to overpower it.” SAD SAD day in America….. November 7, 2012 …. the day America died.”
Then she sent messaged me on Thursday with the two comments below that were sent a minute apart.
Elizabeth….. YOU know nothing about me and that is clear to see. You speak not with your lips! It is clear to see that you are the typical Liberal that thinks only his/her way is right. I have seen OBAMACARE first hand with my parents. I know what it exsists of and I have read most of the papers on it. As have my friends. All he wants is to help the elderly die…quick so he doesn’t have to pay for them. You have the right to post what you like but I also have that right as well. Being on FB and posting allows you to say what you please as most people do or defriend them, as I did you. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you or hate you, I choose not to be your friend any longer. It doesn’t matter if you agree with me or not, Obama is clearly NOT a Christian. ( that is NOT why I didn’t vote for him ) Nor was he born here in the USA. Time will reveal that, I only hope and pray that it isn’t to late. Whether he wants evil for us or someone has named him as the person to do the job, evil is upon us.
From what I’ve heard, and I have friends in the UK, the health care system there is a mess! WE don’t want your type of health care~!~~ Most americans, the ones that actually work for a living, do not want OBAMACARE! We want our country to stay the same with the freedom to choose our doctors and type of medical treatment. When you have spent your whole life working at a job and retire with benefits, the president should not be allowed to strip them from you. THAT IS COMMUNISM my friend! Most Americans don’t need welfare, food stamps or free health care. Only the sorry, lazy people need that!
NOT one single person can name anything that Obama has done good for the USA….NOT ONE! The people that voted for him or the ones that one FREE everything….they live in a give me, give me state of mind, constantly demanding freebies, they are lazy and worthless, white, black and any other color!
I personally do not care if the President is black, green, purple or orange or his religious beliefs ( as long as he keeps it to himself) …for without the help of congress and senate the president can’t do anything…but what I do care about is the fact that our President needs to be more concerened with our military, protecting our men in other countries, not vacationing in VEGAS and lieing to cover his ass from NOT being here when this country needs him and OBAMA has not been! He has also proven that in the latest storm on the east coast where he showed his face for TV, and they are still without power, food & water. NO help has been sent in. He is a coward and a lier!!!
Truthfully John I don’t care who is upset with my remark, what bothers me is that you ENGLISH think you know what is best for us in the USA!!! The USA was not founded on Communism or muslim beliefs and we don’t want it forced don’t our throats! If they try there will be another revolution like you have never seen! You need to listen to other news stations or media sources and get ALL the facts before voicing your childish remarks.
Unfortunately there are not a lot of educated people on politics in the USA, they just go vote based on one thing that bothers them like abortion or gay rights. Those are things that need to be addressed but not the sole reason ( which most have proven here on your page ) when voting for a President. They should be more concerened about the happenings of this country and where it is headed. I’m ashamed that Americans are that stupid and uneducated!
My feelings about your comments would be a waste of my breath. I feel you have NO say so in the events of this country since you are now a citizen of the Brits! I don’t count duel citizenship. You can not be loyal to two countries during a time of war, so I don’t understand why they even give that. Makes no sense at all to me.
I wish you nothing but happiness, because I am a good Christian person with a huge heart of gold and would never wish bad on anyone. Hope you new country gives you more happiness than the one you left 🙂
I did not mean to offend you or John, I would never do that and for that I’m sorry. I just want you to know where I’m coming from with this letter.

*************

I did find the smiley face a bit much in light of what she said during her ‘letter’ to let me know where she was coming from.

According to CNN, a lot of unfriending is happening on Facebook post-election, and I wonder if any of you have had a similar experience.

41 thoughts on “A Big Serving Of Hate With A Side Order Of One Person’s Version Of Christian Love – No Friend Of Mine

  1. Hi Elizabeth, I am not usually one to make comments regarding politics, I vote for whom I feel is right and let everyone else’s opinions slide off me (altho’ they do sometimes take a while to slide off my “dander” when it is up!), but I do want to comment here, for any readers to take into consideration when they speak of God/Jesus and America/politics. Last I read in the Bible, God had a covenant with one country/people, Israel. The covenant (symbolically with the temple veil) was rent in two when Christ died on the cross, opening the direct contact between men and God through Christ, who paid the price for our sins and then gave us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us. This alone tells me that God’s new Covenant is with us as individuals, not through the nation (in this case the USA). God has that same covenant with the people of England and Iran and India and every other nation on Earth should the individual choose to believe in Him.

    This is what my Southern Baptist Christian upbringing taught me. And my parents taught me the only person who’s attitude and thought I can change is my own. And the best means of persuasion is not through hateful talk and action but through encouragement and example. Just who would be persuaded to vote against Obama by that discourse?

    The hate shown in this election and against Obama scares me also. I have hesitated to comment about and support Obama (but I did vote for him, both elections and will tell anyone who asks me in a civil way) on FB because of not wanting to bring on tirades like the one above. I am unsettled by it all and hope it will soon go away, at least for another 3 years and Obama is able to accomplish things that will lead this country down a better path to benefit us and the entire world as much as it possibly can.

    Your reader is sadly caught up in popular rhetoric. This should teach us to not believe everything we see on FB! I wonder if I am her friend…

    • Thanks Lauren for your supportive comment and for sharing your thoughts on scripture. I hope President Obama will be able to get enough support in Washington to take our country through the changes we need to make. As for the Angry Woman from the great state of … after checking your friends list, I can see that you are not Facebook friends with her.

    • Hi Elizabeth

      As a fellow Sprayberryian and as a Conservative Christain, my heart simply breaks with the letter you received. I love your blog; the photography, the way you think and the way those thoughts are expressed in your beautiful words. I considered a rather lengthy response to the harsh words you received, but in reflection, realize that many of us are wounded, and it is in our efforts that we attempt to hide those wounds we can inflict the most pain. In reading the political rancor that is being spewed, I can only trust that in time the angry and scared can see the damage they do to the very beliefs they hold and the Christ they proclaim. As Christ said, “forgive them, they know not what they do.” But in the meantime, yes, I think it is fine to “unfriend” them.

      Thank you for the beauty you are adding to the net.

      • Steve ~ Thanks so much for your kind words about my blog posts and photography. I am always pleased when some part of GOTJ resonates with someone who finds their way here. I’m trying to place you from our high school days and I’m afraid I can’t, but no matter, if we were not friends then, we can certainly be friends now. Your compassionate and measured response was a perfect salve for the hurtful words from my former Facebook friend. I appreciate that more than you know.

  2. Oh, my, Elizabeth! You and I could have a good old chin wag about this topic. It is distressing. As a self-proclaimed progressive (less loaded than “liberal”), I live in a deep red state. Like you, I have family as well as friends on the other side of the aisle, so to speak. There are many people with whom I won’t even share my political views. But, yes … the vitriol in our country now is truly scary and it makes me worry about what kind of country my granddaughter will live in years from now. I keep hoping the pendulum is about to hit the wall and move back … but I don’t know. As for FB, I’m very circumspect about who I “friend”; mutual friends are not a strong enough reference. Since I’m mostly on private groups, it’s not much a problem, but one does have to be very cautious on FB. And I never talk about politics … or religion … there.

    • I think I’m going to be a bit more careful about who I allow in my Facebook circle too, Dotti. I don’t let everybody in because it’s more private than my blog, but I thought someone who went to the same high school might be okay. She graduated in 1972 when I was twelve so we never knew each other.

      I usually try to avoid politics on Facebook too, but I shared a link before the election about which candidate the rest of the world hoped might win and that was when it all went ugly. Everyone else was pretty civil, but the woman in the post wasn’t having it. Any good manners she may have once possessed were certainly missing in her reaction.

  3. Elizabeth, i am glad you’re praying for him. I do think that good thoughts, whether we call them prayer or good will or good conscience, can coalesce and counter the negative energy in the world. My mother is so scared for Obama she has prayed for him every day since he won the first Iowa caucus. I realize I live in a bit of a bubble. The people I know personally mostly support and respect the man. But I know that hate is out there. And it is harrowing! I am glad there is you.

  4. Hi Elizabeth, you will have to excuse people and their rants, especially just after an election and during a recession, inline with economic and industrial downturns, which is, after all, world wide.
    I am afraid people dont see, or are blinkered or blind. Or simply cannot feel that their leaders have the vision, strength or commitment to do the right thing, or say its too late for that now, there is nothing we can do about it, or fail to see that the future is still out there, people get scared when they are blind and cannot see the way ahead. (Like a pond that gets stagnant, we need change, or all will become still and die.) Once things calm down again and get back to normal all the unpleasantness will disappear, remember life is too short and grudges only put us at same level as them, so have patience, it’s just a moment of madness from some people who can’t cope, as long as you and John and your family are happy, then dont worry about the rest of the world, it will do as it will, And when things have calmed down try to ignore the outbursts and bad language, it is just a blip in the matrix. Also dont let religion run you life, as your giving control to something with so many interpretations that if big “G” was around today, he would soon put a stop to what religion has turned into over the years. Enjoy life and be happy Elizabeth.
    Kindest regards.
    Tony & Jacquie Sanders.

    • I don’t let go of things very easily and I’m disappointed when people behave in such shocking ways. Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies and this is one of those for me. I’m tired of hearing ugly lies about a man I respect, parroted by an army of people who think their happiness is all that matters. I want more for my country and my world. Thanks for your thoughts, Tony. I always appreciate your comments.

  5. Thank you for taking a stand… My recent election post is a fun romp through my familiy’s chance meeting, seeing of presidents, so i appreciate the risks ou take here. Your piece so clearly illustratrates the growing divide in the US… What my European friends shake their heads at:the growing tribalism between what writer Barbara Kingsolver calls Team Camo and Team Latte… . I will add that our flagging educational system, now hobbled by the tribalism of haves and have-nots has left more and more people in this nation dependent upon belief to interpret and inform the world around them rather than critical reasoning. This is why i spend hundreds of hours in a year advocating for quality public education in my state. It is also why i make sure i stay in conversation and relationship with friends from both camps as frustrating as that is it is the only way to loosen the walls around the growing tribalism…and i would rather bring this country together one compassionate conversation over coffee at at time than have us draw together under some falsley contrived national security issue… It is going to take a lot of coffee…and good thing ive enjoyed it black cooked in a number 9 can over a homeless mans campfire….and just as easily can drink a soy latte… Hang in there, i have been excoriated on FB wheni have stepped up to the wrong campfire, but once you speak the tribe’s language you can start telling stories and asking questions…you can sometimes get them to think. We have to keep trying, and education for all, with a focus on critical thinking will be crucial. Until then keep your coffee pot and you espresso machine fired up.

    • Really well said, Renee. I wish we could come together to discuss change in a civilized way, but that would mean some close-minded folks would need to open up a bit. Thank you for doing the work you do … things can only get better if we all do our part.

      • Thank you for the time you take to talk about these issues. I know I too have a distinct advantage in perspective having lived in Europe and being married to a European and having had access to first rate post secondary education. I grieve for those people who have not had or take those opportunities. I think the US is paying in a philosophical sense for the post WW2 military-industrial-complex false economy we generated… it was not sustainable and it propelled us further ahead economically than a true economy. I think we are still feeling the bitter let down of not being able to sustain that, as well as the inability to critically think through our social issues. Sadly enough people even vote against their own best interests because of their belief and ideology… so yes, keep writing, talking communicating… your part in this so matters!

  6. The vitriol expressed on FB around political issues is unsettling to me. I have “hidden” a couple of people I know because I don’t choose to have that kind of energy in my daily life. Prior to the election, I posted that I was not going to read or respond to political posts. I was reamed by people on both ends of the political spectrum. It was the volume of posts that got to me.

    My “swing state” voted for Obama; however I live in a very “red” county, and I have always been in the minority here. I am used to that.

    Friends tolerate different points of view and support the right to express opinions, I think. Virtual “friends,” however, can be eliminated the same way they entered our lives: with the tap of a button.

    • I had to hid a few folks too, Debra and for the most part, we respectfully kept our distance. I only had the one person quoted here who felt it was okay to come into what was essentially my virtual living room and sling her garbage around. I feel much better since I’ve shown her the door, but I am aware that she is not alone in her feelings and that’s the scary part that lingers.

  7. The sad thing is that there are a crap load of unhinged folks like her that live in the Faux News bubble, Rush Limbaugh, Neil Bortz, Michael Savage media of low information and misinformation. Fear driven by the drivel spoon fed them by the likes of Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes. They only listen to the worst of the worst and never question anything. (Reality does have a liberal bias). They are not truth seekers and they hide behind religion. Professed Christians yes, Christ like no.
    They are becoming irrelevant to political discourse and will over time drift back into oblivion as Americans with common sense substantiate facts that are indisputable regarding democracy. The saddest thing to me is that Barrack Obama is such a good man. He is a centrist and because he is mixed race and has a name that is not Smith or Jones, he is to be feared. How sad for those who believe this, but sadder for him and his family. If I had a son I would want him to have the character of this man. I think that by not advocating for education and using poor people as a wedge issue the GOP has contributed greatly to this kind of unhinged vitriol. It is time for working together and having a civil dialogue about Racism, Sexism and Classism in America. These are the roots of our problems and white male patriarchy is slowly but surely going away……. thankfully.

  8. Yes, Elizabeth, I experienced a similar reaction and was “un-friended” accompanied by a rant. It was someone I’ve known a very long time and I found the level of anger & hate disturbing. I had a similar telephone rant occur from a good friend years ago when Bill Clinton was elected. Then, too, it was the deep level of hate & anger that I found disturbing as well as the over the top inability to accept differences & opinions other than their own. I, too, have fears for the safety of President Obama, and other elected officials.
    I also am saddened that this kind of zealous bad behavior has become so prevalent and acceptable.

    • Thanks Cheryl, it’s affirming in a sad way to know that there are others out there equally worried about the safely of President Obama. If we’re worried, I’m sure the people who protect him are concerned as well.

  9. Wow. I particularly like the “friendly” send-off at the end of the second message, a little sugar coating over a whole lot of anger. She sounds very frightened and misinformed — not that I think people who disagree with me are all misinformed, of course, but there is a lot of, um, misinformation in there (to put it lightly).

    I definitely stay away from politics on FB and tend to keep my views to myself in what could be mixed company (in Berkeley, almost all of us are on the same page). Maybe it’s because I worked for nonpartisan government agencies in my old career; maybe it’s that I can see that opinions won’t change or that things will get ugly fast. And I’ve hidden a couple of people on my friends list, people who are clearly kind and have been a great support to me, but who post some stuff I can’t believe.

    And I am afraid that something will happen to Obama.

    • She sent a follow up message after this went live, but I didn’t bother to post it. She was ranting about my not being an American anymore and how I didn’t deserve it anyway. Clearly the concept of dual citizenship was too much of a stretch when I discussed it before. it was pretty ugly!

  10. There are a lot of very unhappy, frightened people in this country, and that makes me very afraid for the rest of us. They’ve reached a level of hysteria where they can no longer listen to reason. I too have many questions about God and religion, but I too have taken to saying a small prayer for the president, and for our country.

    Luckily I don’t have any unreasonable FB friends.

  11. May the duel nationals (sic) amongst us – you know who you are – continue to stand up and give the world the benefit of wider, sometimes more wise perspectives that come from seeing the world from other’s point of view. I wonder where those that feel dual nationals aren’t American think the nearly 300 million people in the lands that are now form the USA come from, aside from other countries, over the past 250 years?

    Frothing at the mouth has never worked very well at persuading me, at least, that I might be wrong about something. I don’t think I’m alone in this. For me it takes the compassion, empathy, integrity, respect and OK I’ll say it, Christian kindness out of the discussion and that point I don’t trust the person doing the frothing, and turn away. Ranters, take note.

  12. Hey Sis…I unfriended a child from my former beloved school. He wrote that “a black person had no business being in the White House” and then used some other words I will not mention. This is a middle school age student. There were no words from me…what on earth could I say that would even make an impression? Got to hear how “stupid” I was for my vote choice all day 11/7/12 which was just awesome. Makes me grateful for the quiet back porch at the cabin where I can just be.

  13. Sigh. I couldn’t even finish reading her letter; it was too toxic. It REALLY bothers me when that degree of bitterness is mixed in with supposed Christianity.

    “Do not let a root of bitterness spring up among you to cause discord.” (Hebrews 13)
    “Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you.”
    “As far as it is possible, be at peace with all men.”
    “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.”

    That’s in the version I read. I’m not sure which one she’s reading…

    A woman who’d mentored me early in our marriage, posted this the day before the election: “Ecclesiastes 10:2 “A wise man’s heart directs him toward the right, but the foolish man’s heart directs him toward the left.” What a word for the day before elections. Please vote for righteousness. May Almighty God have mercy on our nation and on us.”

    Talk about misappropriation and misinterpretation! That’s what sparked my blog post about being so sad this election cycle.

    My Dad has a really interesting blog post that helps make sense of the current division in American politics. It reframed it all for me as well as shedding light on the racism that’s been at play in this election. http://leadings.squarespace.com/the-cavaliers-are-winning/

    • Toxic is such a good word to describe what she was slinging, OTRgirl. I could have used a hazmat suit. I bet you were surprised to see your former mentor’s post … I would have found that disturbing too.

  14. Elizabeth,
    I read that open-mouthed……if it weren’t so vile, it would be laughable that she refers to herself as a Christian. Big hug to you, Suzanne x

  15. Well, I was depressed that Obama won, I will admit that. I thought that Romney would help our economy more. Lots of my friends and family voted for him though and I love them anyway. We have the right to our own beliefs. Both my daughters voted for him (where did I go wrong!!) I guess I raised them to have minds of their own.

    • Thank you, Lindie, for your comments. I know how tough it is when your choice for president is not the one elected, my pick for president has only been selected four times during my voting lifetime (32 years) so I know about the depression piece. I appreciate your thoughts and the gentle tone of your comment.

  16. I should have also said, while I don’t care for Obama, I respect the presidency, and worry about what would happen in this country if anything happens to him. It would be much worse than what happened when Kennedy was assassinated. I was alive and was devastated by his death and I never would have voted for him either. (If I was old enough to vote)

  17. I have seen much of this all over the place, not just Facebook. However, I did not expect to see something like this at Gifts of the Journey, even to give context. I didn’t bother to read most of what is here on this post. Eagerly awaiting more photos of the Coast Path

  18. Honestly, and I am not joking when I say this, I had to look and see if you and I had my step-mom as mutual friends on Facebook. I *adore* my step-mom, who helped raise me, for many reasons but this last election cycle brought out SO much anger at Obama on Facebook from her. My sister wrote her to see if she was ok because of the Facebook screaming (ALL CAPS and !!!!!!). I couldn’t believe there was so much *anger* and hatred. And many of the things she said are identical to what your ‘friend’ said as well (including saying “oh, it’s not about race or religion”) etc.

    It’s so toxic and you have to wonder if they aren’t screaming at themselves — that their lives are so unhappy in some way that they are screaming at something else…

    (And as an aside, she should probably learn her political theories since Communism is vastly different than socialism 😉

  19. I just “unfriended” a woman whom I peripherally know. She wrote, “Just so people know, I really did hold my tongue pretty well before the election but now that Obama is again in office- don’t expect me to hold my tongue any longer. As things continue to collapse…I will be posting about it. You have been warned. If you don’t like it, stay off my page or open your eyes and see the truth.” and then continued to spew venom. Toxic indeed. She is no longer part of my daily diet.

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