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Shades Of Grey And In Between

 

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Many things are not as black and white for me as they appear to be for others. Faith, acceptance and unquestioning belief come so easily to some providing a foundation that guides them in all ways. My own thoughts, especially at this time of year when Christians celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ, drift back and forth through non-committal shades of grey. I feel as if I am Thomas reborn at times…I know I’m not alone though and this song captures much of what I feel on this day and most days.

The song’s worth hearing…take a listen, when you have a moment.

Doubting Thomas

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A Tender Hello

 

Father & Son Reunion

Father & Son Reunion

In airports, you often see the best and worst of people. Tired, cranky, and sometimes scared, they can be a field of emotional land mines to navigate through as you edge your way past bag drops and security check points. Frequently, it’s the people traveling for business who are at their worst. Believing themselves to be masters of their own universe, they can make life uncomfortable for everyone within hearing range when life changes the plan ever so slightly. I’ve traveled for business in the past and I understand the stress of getting to a distant location where people wait for your presentation. I know what it feels like to sink into believing that a missed flight is a missed opportunity that will be difficult to recover from. Rarely is that the case though. If what you offer is what’s needed, people will still want to hear you no matter when you arrive. 

In the last year, my travel life, business life, and love life have all gone through dramatic changes. Airports look different to me now. Instead of moving at breakneck speed towards departure gates or rental car pickups, I travel for love. Flying these days is about reuniting with family and friends or exploring places I’ve never been before. Since moving to Cornwall to marry my darling Englishman, my life has slowed down to a pace where I can breathe again. More importantly, I can see again. Instead of rushing about with my focus always on the future or getting things done, I have time to see what is in front of me. It is a gift of astronomical proportions and one I don’t take for granted.

It is with these fresh eyes that I captured the image you see above, a father and son reunion at the Atlanta airport taken last March while waiting for John to arrive. Although I was still working ferociously long days through a fog of must do items and endless lists, I was beginning to be able to see more clearly what was happening in the rest of the world. With love filling my own heart, I could pause to recognize it in those around me, even those who were strangers. Like the tender hello of the father to his son, I began to welcome the heart of me, perhaps the best part of me, back home where it belonged.

 

Today’s post was inspired by Karen Walrond’s post over at Shutter Sisters…take a look if you’ve never been before…it’s a good place to look for things you thought you’d lost.

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So Far Away

 

Not So Far Away

Elizabeth, John, & Nik - Not So Far Away

 ” But you’re so far away
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door ”

– Carole King

Making a decision to move away from the familiar is not so easy for most people. To move so far away that it requires an extended plane ride or maybe even several to reconnect with those we care about is becoming more common and a little less painful thanks to the many ways that exist for family and friends to stay connected. Yesterday, John and I paid a little visit to Alaska all the way from England for my nephew Nik’s birthday party. Thanks to the internet, iChat, and my sisters willingness to shift her desktop Mac around, John and I were able to “be present” for the family gathering. 

It was great fun to watch Nik open his presents, blow out his candles and sing a rousing round of Happy Birthday to him with his older brother Sam accompanying us on electric guitar. Sam would have made Jimi Hendrix proud as he opened the party with a raucous version of the Happy Birthday tune.  

The world’s a different place than when I turned eleven in 1971 and Carole King was singing, ” So Far Away “.  Far away isn’t quite so far now and although we couldn’t taste the yummy looking (no trans fats included) cake my sister Margaret made, we could gather together for a photograph with the birthday boy… bringing ourselves virtually into the living room though still not quite a face at the door.

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Eleven

 

11

Today my nephew Nik is eleven.

 There are many things I’d like to say about him, but at eleven, he’d like a bit of censoring.

 Say too much and I’ll embarrass him, say too little and I’m afraid I won’t properly convey how much I like the person

he’s growing into.

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 He’s interesting to talk with and teaches me something whenever we speak.

Like a typical eleven year old, he has a dog he loves.

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She’s a sweet little beagle named Ingrid. 

Unlike a typical boy his age, he likes to makes movies rather than just watch them.

 Sometimes, Ingrid has a leading role.

Nik taught himself how to make movies using a small Nikon and a Mac. 

His movies vary.

Sometimes, they’re black and white with special effects like slow motion.

His sense of humor is easily apparent in the images and story line.

He made a movie for my birthday last year when he was ten.

He read here about an experience I had in England

and made this movie to mirror my story.

Home schooled in Alaska, I think he’s exceptional.

When I visited last December, I was able to see his skill with his electric guitar, a Fender.

It’s a great guitar for a young musician partial to Jimi Hendrix, Deep Purple, my personal favorite Bruce Springsteen, and okay…KISS. (not my favorite)

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He’s a builder and a doer, creative and kind with a scientific mind and an enthusiastic spirit.

Nik - First Place On Trans Fats Science Project

Nik - First Place On Trans Fats Science Project

Last week he won first place with his science fair project on Trans Fats. He’s been trans fat focused since last summer

when he talked his mom (my sister, Margaret) into buying him the book, Eat This, Not That. After the science

competition, he went book shopping again, for volume 3 of Eat This, Not That so my sister figures he’s not done yet.

 

Today he’s eleven.

Happy Birthday

Nik.

 

Nik's Art Project

Nik's Art Project

 

 

 

 

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Resurrection Sunday – Ghosts

Resurrection: Middle English, from Old French, from Late Latin resurrēctiō, resurrēctiōn-, from Latin resurrēctus, past participle of resurgere, to rise again. 

or this

The act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival

I’ve been thinking a bit about my first blog site where I left a few things behind that were important to me. Intimate and personal, they just sit there now waiting for someone to stumble across them. After reading today’s post by Sarah-ji over at Shutter Sisters I thought a good bit about one sentence she wrote and what it meant to me…it’s a request really and one that inspired me to look back through my memories and resurrect some for another look.

Here Sarah-ji asks, ” Will you share with us today your images of the weathered, beat-up and forgotten that nevertheless convey to you a hope and beauty that’s raw and real? ” I appreciate the inspiration provided by her question today and the gifts for me in remembering what remains raw and real. What about you out there…how about a Resurrection Sunday of your own. Perhaps you can provide a link today to what is “raw and real”, ” hope and beauty ” as Sarah-ji asks or something else. I’m interested in what you have to share today…..

Ghosts

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“Let it go” she said. Standing in the remains of the church on the edge of the rocky coast, I could almost hear her voice whispering to me, “forgive yourself and let it go.”

Looking around the dirty room thick with years of dust, I wondered about the last time someone had sat on the rough pew waiting for the minister to get to the point. Simple in their design, and looking as uncomfortable as the wind felt blowing in through the broken glass, I pulled my coat tighter and considered the history of the tiny church. The room was poorly lit, the shadows in the corners near the old pulpit were scary in the dark space that John seemed to disappear into and out of sight. Nervous and not sure why, I stepped closer to the low light drifting in through the only window not boarded up.

Before when we were still outside, John had pulled on a door that was wedged shut to keep people out while had I hung back thinking about how what we were doing was less adventure and more intrusion. This ruin of a church, isolated and abandoned on the Isle of Skye should have drawn me in rather than triggering my fight or flight response, but as he slipped in past the half open door, I found myself tight behind him not wanting to be left alone, even outside.

Once inside I came part way down the aisle and considered my feet were walking where hopeful brides had walked, one hand lightly resting on their father’s arm anxious to take the final steps that would take them from their parents home into one of their own making. A home and life they would struggle to build with the man smiling and nervous waiting at the front of the church.

Flashing quickly forward I imagined the hardships of life here years ago when this church might have been alive with activity and the energy of the fishing community.

Would the women who married and later baptized their children here also have gathered to mourn and bury their hope along with the men they loved in this little church. What dreams had been lost to the things they could not control. What words had they left unsaid and what things once done could never be forgotten.

I knew then why I didn’t want to go into this church. This building had once been light and bright with possibilities and warmth. It had been a gathering place for worship and reflection, for celebration and for sorrow. Standing in the darkness, all I could feel was a sense of loss and the echo of those who had called this place a sanctuary.

“Let it go” she said, “move on with your life and live well while you can.”

Acts of contrition, reconciliation, absolution, sometimes all you can do has to to be enough….let it go.

 

(Posted originally on August 6, 2008 at http://giftsofthejourney.com)

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Breaking Up

Children all over England are running free for the next two weeks as schools broke up for the Easter holiday on Friday. Two things stand out for me as being different from what I’m used to in America…Easter holiday and breaking up. I think in America you only hear the term Spring Break being used to denote the time period when children get a week off from school rather than Easter break. While it would not be considered politically correct to use the term Easter break in America, using Easter and Christmas to denote a school break in England is still the norm.

The children here have an interesting schedule that varies a bit from what my daughter went through in the American school system. The schedule in England has a more liberal time off period during the school year, but a shorter break for summer. American children are out for roughly 11 weeks in summer while 6 weeks is typical here. English schools start later in September and break up for summer around July 20, but they’re off for 7 weeks at various points during the school year plus 4 additional days referred to as Bank holidays. American children have 4 weeks off with a few miscellaneous days thrown in such as MLK’s birthday along with a few others.

The size of the schools vary as well. The village school here has 20 students and  3 teachers along with 1 teaching assistant. It’s a primary school and accepts children ages 4-11.  Surprisingly even though it’s reminiscent of rural schools that don’t exist anymore in most places in America, there is a computer for every child and musical instruments of various kinds as well.  It’s set in the sweetest location and the children seem very happy and well connected despite the mix of ages. The older children help the younger ones in ways you wouldn’t see in larger schools in America where the grades are separated and the different classes tend to stay within their own age group. Here in our village school, the oldest child has a chance to be a leader and guide to the younger children and it seems to work very well.

I had a chance yesterday to snap a few photographs at the School Fete where teachers, parents and students along with some community members gathered together sell home baked goods, plants, and toys, to raise money for school trips and extras. Even though I don’t have a child in the school, I have an interest through my friend and running partner Tina, who has twin daughters who attend there. I sent some cookies I made (Bear Scat, a recipe I picked up on my recent trip to Alaska) along for the sale and John and I purchased a couple of chances on the duck race that capped the days fun. The school has a bridge right next to it with a lovely bit of water that the ducks were released into a bit further upstream. The children along parents and grandparents stood on the bridge cheering as the ducks floated down with different numbers written on their backsides in waterproof ink.  It was a wonderful bit of fun for the children on their last day before breaking up for Easter break.  The Head teacher, Mr. Ratcliffe along with two other teachers, Mrs. Webber and Mr. Knibbs got into the spirit of things by dressing in costume for the big scoop out. They did a great job chasing down the little yellow ducks that most of us would associate more with a hot bath rather than a cool river run.

I scooted down to the waters edge and stretched out on a big rock to capture a few memories of Duck Race 2009.

 

Mr. Ratcliffe (Center In Chicken Suit)

Mr. Ratcliffe (Center In Chicken Suit)

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(L to R) Mr. Knibb, Mrs. Webber, and Head teacher, Mr. Ratcliffe

The Newspaper Photographer Getting Her Shot

The Newspaper Photographer Getting Her Shot

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 Mrs. Webber Breaks The Net

Mrs. Webber Breaks The Net

 

Ready, Set, Go!

Ready, Set, Go!

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The Big Scoop

 

The One That Got  Away

The One That Got Away

 

 

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A Hopeful Heart

Hope pulls the heart of tomorrow into the body of today

-Sri Chinmoy

Keeping Hope Close To Your Heart

Keeping Hope Close To Your Heart

Life isn’t always pretty. For most us, the delicate balance between wishing and believing is stitched together with the common thread of hope. It binds us as a community and a civilization. For some, hope may be all they have. My ivy heart above has fallen away from it’s vine. It lies on the earth, muddied and stepped on, but still with a message for those who would look. The heart can take a serious battering and come back again like the green growth of spring after a winter of bitter cold or a hot summer with no rain. Hope lives in the heart, sometimes a flicker, sometimes a flame, but it’s there, tucked in tight…waiting.

A few weeks ago, I read a little message on Shutter Sisters, one of my favorite places to visit. It was a story about two women trying to win a chance to show those who may have forgotten just what hope looks like. They need a little help from the rest of us…it doesn’t cost anything, but a moment of your time. Please go now and vote here for hope. Today is the very last day you can vote for these two and this project. I know what hope looks like for me, but I’d like to see hope through their eyes and in the eyes of those they’ll reach if Picture Hope is chosen.

 

 

Go now please…if you wait, it may be too late.