I’ve struggled with a couple of decisions lately that might take away from the time and creative energy I give to my writing.
I’ve tried mind-mapping, the Ben Franklin approach, and lots of conversations with people I trust. The decision can only come from me and it’s more complicated than just yes or no.
Normally the first two methods work for me, but if I’m still iffy I like to talk with people who know me well enough to keep me honest. This time I reached out a bit farther offering up a prayer of sorts before I went to sleep a few nights ago.
In the remnants of a dream I remembered this image as I woke. It was so clear I knew it immediately that it was from a photograph I took in 2004. It’s been so long since I’ve seen it that I had to do a serious search of my external hard drive to share it with you.
Although the spider in the center is ever so slightly soft in its focus, the message is not lost on me. That the focus is off feels like part of the message, and the spider in the photo, it’s known as a writing spider.
I have a few more people I want to talk with, but I think I’ve found the answer.
What do you think?
Gifts Of The Journey 
I definitely think you’ve found the answer. It is wonderful, but rare, when signs from the universe are clear. Congrats on whatever decision you make.
Beautiful picture, and beautiful post. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with decisions recently, and I’m still not sure whether I’ve made the right one, or even what I’ve exactly decided, but I’m just going to have to go with it.
I’m tiring of all the ‘mystery’ you are putting into your posts. Feels contrived. You were the first blog I subscribed to and I subscribed because of you of your open and honest approach to writing. Now another suspense story? I’m interested in knowing your struggles, your vulnerabilities and how you do or don’t resolve them. A little suspense is good. Dragging it out too long like you did this summer is anti-climatic. Please don’t do the same here,
@ Carol ~ It’s very late here and I’m tired. It’s been a long day and an even longer week and I probably should wait until I’ve rested to respond, but I don’t always do what I should.
I’m really am sorry you feel as if my posts are too mysterious and contrived. I say what I can, when I can. That’s the best I can do. I’m not always able to share in the moment. My summer from hell is just one example. As soon as it was reasonable for me to share what was happening and why I was so upset, I did. Perhaps you missed the post that detailed why I was unable to be specific as the drama was unfolding.
https://giftsofthejourney.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/stuck-in-the-middle-of-a-housing-market-gone-mad/
As to my honesty and vulnerability, some things are too private to share online especially when one is trying to sort it out and there are other people involved who need to be protected. I will say though that there are readers who have become good friends to me offline who I am able to share with in a safer and more appropriate way. If you had sent me an email, you would likely have heard more of my sad story than you wanted to hear.
My silence last summer was not for effect or to create suspense and frankly, I felt pretty vulnerability sharing what I did. I thought I sounded exactly like the total mess I was.
I’m not able to say more about what has come up for me now and I may not ever. My post today was meant to show how I felt I might have found an answer to a question I was struggling with this week.
I don’t think the reason for the struggle is the important part of the post, it’s about the resolution.
The reason is private, but the way I’ve reached a decision about the resolution is not.
I’m sorry that wasn’t more clear.
Hello its me again, I would say that if you look at the decisions that you have taken over the last year, and they have worked out well, go with your first instinct.
If you are still unsure then, try thinking about each path you might take, and as you fall asleep fit yourself into to path and dream, do this three times, night after night, and each time imagine a different path each time. If you end up in the same dream more than once, you have your choice.
Tony.
I think, try not to fret about the “opportunity” cost of whatever you don’t do as a result of any decision. A piece of advice which I find extremely hard to adhere to myself. Which doesn’t make it anyless sound, just that I freely admit to it being a bit rich coming from me.
I just sat down here and read thru your last few posts – the feelings of indirection..of mind-mapping..of seeking sense out of the insensible – and of re-creating. And – it all so resonates with me. Every bit. Although I come away without any answers..I do come away with knowing that there are others out there who are trying to figure it all out – just like me. Thank-you for this.
Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth. I think it helps us (humans one and all) to know that at different times we each struggle. Choices, options, problems, decisions to be made. It matters not what the actual details are, those are unique to each of us. What matters is that we see others face those struggles and come through to the other side. I appreciate your example. Blessings on the answer before you.
I think our dreams with always, always tell us the answer.
…and spiders creep me out. Even pretty ones. And yet they often show up in my own dreams.
🙂