Category Archives: Choices

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Kelly Rae Roberts – Taking Control With Flying Lessons

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Remember that e-course I mentioned here and what I revealed about myself here, well we are winding down now after five weeks of online lessons with loads of positive information and ” flight plans ” useful in getting a creative idea and business off the ground.

While I picked up some really great ideas and business tips, I think what I enjoyed most was watching how inspired the collective group was and the energy that came through when so many taking the class began implementing big projects right away and sharing them online with each other.

So many of my classmates already had the skill and creative abilities (their shoes, if you will) that helped define them in their roles as artists, but still needed a bit of help in the taking control aspect that is necessary when going from creative artist to someone able to earn a living doing the work they love.

I am in deep in the process of expanding my vision for myself now and over the next few months will be unveiling a few projects of my own as I work out all the nitty-gritty details. The biggest take away for me during this process has been about lifting some of the limitations I tend to put on myself. Although I have long been identified by friends and co-workers as the kind of person who thinks outside the box, I have often limited my own creative movement while encouraging others to reach for something more.

In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy had those lovely red shoes that could have taken her home with just a click had she known the ability she already possessed. I have been thinking lately about what I already know … what each of us know within ourselves about our dreams. I’ve been thinking too about the ways in which we can develop the vision required to take our dreams from being just a possibility to something that actually gets off the ground.

So I have been busy here … working steadily on my ” flight plan ” while opening boxes that have held a few dreams for far too long. What about you … what have you got packed away that feels boxed up so tightly it’s like a memory of what you once dreamed of for yourself?

If it’s direction you need, you might find some inspiration over here today. The topic has to do with a technique that has helped me define mine for years.

It will be worth your time, I promise.

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Sharing A Story – My Teary Moment With Kenny Loggins

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In 1997, my life was in the middle of major changes when I saw that an old musical favorite of mine was coming to town to sign copies of a book that he had co-authored with his wife. I knew virtually nothing about this book, but what I did know was how at various points in my life his music had offered a soundtrack for the emotions and struggles that I had experienced particularly in my 20’s and early 30’s and something in me felt a need to go to his book signing.

If you’ve been reading my blog for long you already know that storytelling is so throughly a part of who I am that the idea that I might wait in line at a bookstore to have my newly purchased book autographed without mentioning the significance of his music and then quietly slip away was not even in the realm of possibility.

As I stepped up to meet him with a long line of people at my back, I considered how I might communicate the importance one song in particular had for me during my divorce from my daughter’s father and how I had listened to it over and over hanging on to the words like a life raft when I felt as if I might drown in all the sadness and disappointment I felt in myself and my failures.

Although very few of us are entirely responsible for the end of a marriage, for a while I believed that burden was all mine and I cried my way through years of pain that while unrelated in some ways surfaced during the final days and weeks of my marriage. I wanted more for a child of mine than two parents living separate lives shuttling back and forth between two houses and I struggled with keeping my own childhood sorrows from overshadowing my need to ensure that she felt safe and loved.

It was during this time while dressing for work one morning that I saw Kenny Loggins sing a song on a morning television show and listened as the words in his song mirrored my own experience. I remember stopping what I was doing at the time and just sitting as I watched … feeling for the first time that maybe things would be alright. The words in his song echoed exactly what I had been feeling and later I listened as he talked about the changes in his life and the joy that was now present.

His song had given me hope and a bit of solace back then and made me see that I was not alone in my sad experience and I as I stood there waiting I thought, I’m going to tell him. For a moment I considered, what if he thinks I’m silly, stupid, or God forbid, groupie-ish, but in the end I decided to share the importance hearing that particular song had for me during a time of crisis.

What you see in the photograph below is me telling him my story. I had given my camera to the woman behind me to take my picture with him and as I was talking I knelt down for a minute so my position shifted from what you see here. I told him of that morning only a few years earlier and how the message in his song had provided a starting place for healing and a form of forgiveness that I while I was still working on for myself, was slowly coming together after years of not trusting my own voice and my own sense that my feelings and dreams were just as valuable as those who wanted to be in relationship with me.

Kenny Loggins - Elizabeth Harper

As I told him my story, his eyes began to tear up … filling close to overflowing while we spoke and not because of the sadness in my story, but I believe now having read his book, because of the similarity. I think he was touched by my story because he had lived parts of it himself, different in ways to mine certainly, but the same at the core.

The woman who followed me in line brought my camera to me after having her book autographed and said, ” You made him cry … what did you say to him? ”  Without going into my whole story, I told her that I just shared an important moment in my life and how one song had made a difference. Having taken a risk to share something so special to me, I can’t tell you how pleased I was that it was received in the way I had intended.

There’s a release that comes in speaking your truth. It doesn’t need to be public or released in a song as has often been his way, but sharing your story can be a gift to someone who just might need the message in your own experience. Most of us do this everyday never really knowing the impact our words may have.

I’ve been speaking my truth here at GOTJ for the last 24 months. Today marks two years since I wrote my first blog post at giftsofthejourney.com where my first 82 posts still live. In February of 2009, I moved GOTJ to this WordPress account and during the last two years the combined total of 338 posts have garnered 76,853 page views and the kind and generous comments of many of you likely reading this today.

I want to take a minute to thank you for including my words and images in your daily life. Even though I don’t always have a chance to respond on the comments left here, please know that they are so appreciated and mean a great deal to me. Quite often as you’ve shared bits of your own story in response to something I’ve written I have been moved to tears as Kenny Loggins was that day and I am always grateful whenever my story connects in some useful way with your own.

I’m not sure what Kenny Loggins was writing in everyone else’s book, but he could not have picked better words for me personally than those two you see at the bottom of the page,” Trust Love.”  I frequently tell people that I could not have imagined that I would ever have the life I have now, but you all know my story if you’ve been reading GOTJ for long.

Trusting love is what brought me to this sweet life with John and the awareness that change had its own gifts to offer led me to create Gifts Of The Journey and a chance to share the experience with anyone interested in their own gifts and their own journey. My thanks to each of you who through Gifts of the Journey are now a part of mine.

John Winchurch & Elizabeth Harper - 2008

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Altarnun – Pausing To See More Than A Road Sign

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As is often the way here there are unexpected surprises sometimes waiting just around the next bend in the road. John and I took the time to discover one a few weeks ago. For as long as John has lived in Cornwall, Alternun has been just another name on small roadside sign, one of many villages scattered just off the A-30 as it snakes it’s way through Cornwall all the way to Land’s End where it does what everything does there, it ends.

While he is often given to impromptu side trips to explore new places, John had never taken the turn to the village below. Last Christmas his cousin Mary came to stay with us for the holiday and while she was here shared a story with him about this sweet little village that had been one of her mother’s favorites. Cousin Mary if you remember is 87 and has had a fondness for Cornwall since she first came here as a child. As we were driving back from an errand in another village John saw the sign and detoured taking us straight off the A-30 to see Alternun.

We parked near the church which has an interesting history that I’ll share here in a post here tomorrow.  For now I’ll take you on a little walking tour around the village. The bridge above was built in the 15th century and is known as the packhorse bridge.

John took this photograph from a grassy patch near the village hall. The church tower is tucked just behind the trees on the left and the building in front is a row of cottages.

This sweet little bridge as I said earlier is called a packhorse bridge and not wide enough for cars.

This was taken from the packhorse bridge and that is John in the striped shirt off in the distance near where he stood while taking the second photograph in this post.

Just over the footbridge you see this memorial to those who died in several wars. In the distance you can see a row of cottages with the one on the end having a big garden. This is all right in the heart of the village which adds even more visual interest.

Here’s another view looking down the main street.

See the monument in the shadows of the right corner, this row of cottages is to the right of it.

Here is a shot of that pretty little veggie patch I mentioned.

I found this row of cottages pretty interesting. There was a small running stream right underneath the stone slate footbridges that led to each front door. I asked John if these were designed this way in order to dump waste into the stream for removal when originally built … he was not sure, but it did seem likely to us both.

This had to be one of the best looking rural phone boxes I’ve seen in Cornwall. With cell phones so accessible and in wide use the need for pay phones is not really necessary. People have protested the removal of the easily recognizable red phone booths based on how they’ve come to be symbolic images associated with the UK and while they stay in place for now, most are beginning to look pretty uncared for.

I’m not sure about this building, I’ll need to go back sometime soon to ask some questions about the history of the buildings from some locals. It was very quiet when we were there and so I came away with lots of questions and little answers.

John graciously agreed to pose next to this door so you could see how low the entrance was. No one lives here now and it could use some renovation and repair.

This may not look too odd to some of you … just and old farmhouse cottage across the street in a Cornish village in southwest England until you notice that silver thing with the bell hanging off the back end of it. Hmm … this might look familiar to any Americans reading this post.

Yep, I do believe that says U.S. Mail on it which seems so out of place in Altarnun particularly with the word cottage on the wall behind it. Someone has removed the red flag normally found on the side of the mailbox. I like the use of the bell as an alert.

If you look behind the row of cottages you can see the church on the hill. Just inside the gate is a Celtic cross said to date to the 6th century. Remember … come back tomorrow for a little show and tell as to what makes this church so special.

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Calling All Photographers – A Question For You

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Decisions, Decisions, Which Way To Go

This morning I left the comment below over at Chookooloonks, after reading about Karen Walrond’s big love for Nikon.

I’ve been asked a few times in the past about what I shoot with and thought this might be a good time to share that info and ask my readers for a little help as I try to decide what type of point and shoot I should buy to replace my Canon G9 which goes everywhere with me now. My abbreviated camera history can be found below. Remember it’s information I wrote in a comment this morning so it may seem a bit different that my usual posts and to make it more interesting, I’m including a few examples of photographs taken with my two favorite cameras. There are a few shots using my Nikon D200 here and almost everything on this site in the last year has been taken with my Canon G9 including the image above.

My comment to Karen –

” I know what you mean about choosing a camera, I’ve been shooting for years, and have had several important cameras, beginning with a Mamiya medium format which I bought while in the army and stationed in Germany and later traded at a camera shop in California for a Minolta SLR and a couple of lenses. After college, I found myself busy with a baby and a quickly changing life complete with all the baby things one tends to haul around each day so I went with a series of small point and shoots that were so nondescript that I can’t even remember them. Around 2000 or 2001, I was introduced to digital and that was it for me with regard to film. Eventually I went back to SLR’s and photography with an eye and intention on getting the best possible photograph. After doing loads of research that came down as it did with you, between Nikon and Canon, I went with Nikon. I have two Nikon D200’s and more nice glass than I probably deserve, but I’m afraid I tend to use my Canon G9 on a daily basis due to its size and abilities. It’s a bit of a struggle to carry my Nikon gear with me when hiking the coast path here in Cornwall or to carry it 105 miles through the Alps on the Tour of Mont Blanc, but as we make ready for our next big trip (Two months in New Zealand) I am looking towards Nikon for a new point and shoot to suit my needs.

I should add that many times since moving to England I have left what I consider my ” best gear ” behind because it seemed too much to carry and I’ve had some regrets. Later this fall when my sister is here, we’ll be headed to Paris which is one of my favorite places to photograph and I’m taking my Nikon D200 and some good glass this time even if there’s no room for clothes.

I’m off now to have another look at what the latest offerings are for top quality Nikon point & shoots, I have to say that I’m not convinced there are any that can pass the test for me as well as Canon or perhaps something else, but I’m open to any suggestions or street talk regarding your experience. I pay as much attention to the reviews of those already using the camera equipment I’m considering as I do the specs so please share what you know ”

So there it is … help me out if you can, what’s the buzz out there in your photo community … any suggestions?

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Two-Ton Tessie And Other Vile Things

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“I have had more than enough of your abuse thank you very much and if that’s all you have to say then I am not going to listen. You’re too right that things have to change around here and the first thing is how you speak to me!” She said all of this standing in front of me looking straight into my eyes after I’d had another in series of meltdowns. Always proud in the past of my ability to maintain some self-control, I’ve been losing it more and more lately.

“How can you call me such names and do the things you have to me, why can’t you find other ways to deal with your anger, heartache, or frustration instead taking it out on me? Haven’t I always been there for you, remember all the times when you barely slept, or were so stressed at work that you thought you’d lose your mind, I was there for you, I kept you going! ”

I listened to her, ashamed that I had lost control again. How could I after all the promises I’d made over and over in the past. I’d worked hard on myself talking at length with those with more experience to sort through all the reasons why I kept losing control, but still here I was again spewing out those same old nasty hurtful words that I said before, words full of shame, blame, and disgust.

Listen, she said, ” You are so much more than you think you are and all of this is within your power to change if you would only change how you see yourself.”

I listened knowing what she said was true and how if I could just let go of my need to feed my emotions then the last piece of my life could come into balance.

Speaking more tenderly than I felt I deserved after my mistreatment of late, she said,” You know yourself so well, just listen more carefully the next time you hear the words,’ I’m hungry ‘ and think, is it truly your body talking or some other need.”

” I need for you take better care of me ” she said, ” Be kinder to me please and no more nasty name calling.”  Standing in a wreck of a room, with clothes heaped around me that no longer fit, I stood there staring into the mirror, absorbing her words and resolving once again to do better next time.

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RSS Feed – Like Getting A Letter From A Friend

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I have been using Google Reader for longer than I can remember and at present there are 242 subscriptions that I currently read or have read in the past on a regular basis. I was shocked to see how many there are actually, but as I have them all neatly organized by subject matter or in cases by location such as UK, NZ, and US friends, I never noticed how many I had tucked away for safekeeping.

I’ve got headings for Art, Travel, Money and Investing, Photography, and Writing, UK expats in the US, and vice versa, along with some folks in a group so small that I put them together under India & Turkey. There’s a food section and heading for health topics and something I call Decorating Stuff that I no longer spend much time looking over since we finished the extension to the house. There are loads more groupings that I won’t bother to go into because what I really want to say has to do with something I have recently discovered.

It’s more of a realization really … as long as I’ve been reading blogs I have always resisted the subtle or not so subtle messages to click on the RSS button as noted in my top right corner or the email subscription found slightly lower down the page because in my mind I did not want it ‘cluttering’ up my inbox. I thought, No thanks, I’d rather visit you rather than have you just dropping in unannounced, and I must admit it has worked really well for me and I’ve not felt a need to change it.

Until recently that is … when I clicked on the very subtle, almost hidden, subscribe button of someone I never like to miss. She had been away from blogging for a few months as she was off doing more important things like building houses and reuniting families. When she popped back up in my google reader after being gone so long, I was ‘over the moon’ happy to see her again. During her absence, I’d followed her on Facebook and Twitter, but it just wasn’t the same as the longer bits on her blog that always felt like letters from a friend.

It wasn’t until her next posting and those that followed that I began to see the real merit for me in subscribing. Rather than my going to her place to catch up or share a thought, she pops into my inbox now just like any of my friends would. It always makes me smile to see what Jen Lemen has to say and given how much I enjoy seeing her mail arrive, I may just have to subscribe to a few more folks who have a similar effect on my moods and attitude.

I’m curious as to how you find the blogs you enjoying reading more than once or twice, do you bookmark, subscribe, use Google reader or something else perhaps? I’d be especially interested in how you find your way to my place and as always, thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment.

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Safety First

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This is a photograph taken by a kind stranger in May of 2008. I had just returned to England from my home in America about a week earlier having … quit one job, said no thank you to an offer of another job from a law firm I had interviewed with for several months, rented my house out to strangers, sold off most of the lovely contents of my home and my car as well and packed myself off to the UK completely secure as I kissed my friends and family goodbye that I was on the right path for me.

Having only been to Cornwall once for two weeks when John and I met for the first a few months earlier, most of the people who loved me thought on some level that I had lost my mind. John and I had known each other only about four and a half months when this picture was taken. Looking back now if any of my friends had made so many major changes for love, I would have thought they were a bit nuts too. If you’ve followed our story for very long, then you know it has all worked out so well that it feels as if it was all just meant to be.

A few things have changed since the picture above was taken, we’ve been married for over a year, and since that first bike ride we’ve had change in attitude with regard to safety when cycling on the Camel Trail. Even though most of our bike riding is confined to car free, easy bike trails where one might feel safe enough as we did back then to ride without a helmet, today when we go out for a ride along the same path we’ll be wearing some protective headgear.

This shift in our cycling attire has a great deal to do with our recognition of how special what we have is and our desire to safeguard it right down to protecting our physical bodies from harm. The realization of just how fragile our lives really are can supercede quite a lot including the discomfort of a helmet when it comes to protecting life and love. In the pictures below, notice in the first one John’s headgear and in the second, my helmet hair after we stopped along the way to take a photograph on Helland Bridge, a place that will always be special to us both.

The Camel Trail

John & Elizabeth – Helland Bridge

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Chewing On A Dreamy Idea

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This little caterpillar was hard at work yesterday trying to fill its belly in anticipation of the big transformation that comes with growing wings. Thanks to a dream I’ve had for a while that I shared on my Big Bag Of Dreams post along with a inspiring lesson yesterday in Kelly Rae’s Flying Lessons, an e-course that I’m taking, I’m chewing on a few transformational ideas of my own.

I be back a bit later when I have a chance to digest it all. I’m pretty excited about what I’m planning and I hope you will be too. * Burp*   Oh, pardon me!

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When Is Good, Good Enough?

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Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.

~Harriet Braiker

I frequently struggle with what to keep and what to discard when it comes to my images. I can easily see exposure issues with this flower that cannot be resolved without losing detail in certain areas … yet each time I move to send it to the trash something stops my hand. It’s not perfect, but there is something happening in the very center that makes me want to give it another look. What about you, how do you let go of the need to be perfect and make peace with good enough?

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One Benefit Of Line Drying – No More Lost Socks

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You have to love having someone around who is still young enough to enjoy the chores most of us would easily never do again if someone agreed to take them off our hands. Now before you go thinking I was trying to turn Jersey Girl into Cinderella last week, she volunteered to help her Bapa (John) out when he had some washing to do.

Photo by John Winchurch

In fact, she seemed to like the process so much there was little left unwashed when she went home to Jersey last Friday. I think her favorite part was hanging the wash on the line. She had quite the system right from the beginning and not surprising a few things emerged during our discussion around issues frequently found in maintaining a clean wardrobe.

Chief subject of interest, you guessed it … disappearing socks. It seems despite the geographic boundaries of another country, here, as in America, dryers, referred to in the UK as tumble dryers, still eat socks. Jersey Girl mentioned that this had happened in the past with one of her grandmothers who had managed to solve this problem by pinning her socks together before they were washed and dried. It turns out that grandmother has one of those sock-eating tumble dryers in her home.

I told Jersey Girl that I had discovered that the secret to safe-guarding socks from a mysterious and confusing shortage was to hang all washing on the line. It’s the absolute truth and no matter what you might say about the hassles of line drying, not only does it save money and energy, you don’t end up with solo socks whose mates have gone on walkabout deep into the Devil’s Triangle we call a tumble dryer.

Don’t believe me … I dare you to give it a try for a few weeks and see what you think. Oh, and don’t forget to check your energy bills at the end of the month to see what you saved, in addition to possibly your favorite pair of socks.

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This post was inspired in part by my fairly frugal husband John and his granddaughter Jersey Girl and also by Donna Freedman and the money-saving tips found at her new space here and her regular MSN Money home here.