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Dancing For Your Life

You may remember this post the other day where I wrote about chewing on an idea, what I didn’t mention at the time was how difficult it was to get a macro shot of the caterpillar I used for that post. Every time I came in close to snap a photograph, the caterpillars would suddenly lift their back ends up and hold them aloft moving them up and down slightly in a waving motion.

This morning I did some research as I was curious to see what they might look like as butterflies. I was having no luck searching through Google for websites until I stumbled across a link that mentioned dancing caterpillars. It turns out they will never be butterflies as this type of larvae are known as Sawfly larvae which look more wasp-like than anything else after it goes through its final changes.

As for the dancing movement, that is commonly said to only be seen in this particular type and is a survival technique that is supposed to protect them from harm. They only do it if you get too close, but when they went into defensive dance mode with me it seemed kind of slow if the goal was to protect them from birds and other fast-moving predators. A few days later I went back to the bush to see what had become of them and to see if anything remained of the plant they had been munching their way through only to discover the branches empty and bare.

While they had eaten quite a lot of the leaves, more remained than were missing which made me wonder if perhaps those little caterpillars had not danced fast enough to avoid becoming a dinner snack for some of the birds in our back garden.

Of course nothing is ever only an educational experience on one level for me, not content with just an impromptu science lesson, I spent some time thinking about these dancing caterpillars and considered all the protective dance moves I’ve used in my own life. I considered the effectiveness of what nature had taught these little future flyers as I thought about the ways I’ve used denial and avoidance in the past to sidestep important issues and I wondered whether that had hurt or saved me in my transformative years.

Can you tell I’m working on something a bit deeper in my daily writing than just happy pleasant things? What about you, are you doing any dancing lately and is it working? Maybe you can teach the rest of us a few new steps … in case we need them sometime. Regarding dancing, I should tell you that I am notorious for trying to lead but I’ll try not to step on your toes.

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Calling All Photographers – A Question For You

Decisions, Decisions, Which Way To Go

This morning I left the comment below over at Chookooloonks, after reading about Karen Walrond’s big love for Nikon.

I’ve been asked a few times in the past about what I shoot with and thought this might be a good time to share that info and ask my readers for a little help as I try to decide what type of point and shoot I should buy to replace my Canon G9 which goes everywhere with me now. My abbreviated camera history can be found below. Remember it’s information I wrote in a comment this morning so it may seem a bit different that my usual posts and to make it more interesting, I’m including a few examples of photographs taken with my two favorite cameras. There are a few shots using my Nikon D200 here and almost everything on this site in the last year has been taken with my Canon G9 including the image above.

My comment to Karen –

” I know what you mean about choosing a camera, I’ve been shooting for years, and have had several important cameras, beginning with a Mamiya medium format which I bought while in the army and stationed in Germany and later traded at a camera shop in California for a Minolta SLR and a couple of lenses. After college, I found myself busy with a baby and a quickly changing life complete with all the baby things one tends to haul around each day so I went with a series of small point and shoots that were so nondescript that I can’t even remember them. Around 2000 or 2001, I was introduced to digital and that was it for me with regard to film. Eventually I went back to SLR’s and photography with an eye and intention on getting the best possible photograph. After doing loads of research that came down as it did with you, between Nikon and Canon, I went with Nikon. I have two Nikon D200’s and more nice glass than I probably deserve, but I’m afraid I tend to use my Canon G9 on a daily basis due to its size and abilities. It’s a bit of a struggle to carry my Nikon gear with me when hiking the coast path here in Cornwall or to carry it 105 miles through the Alps on the Tour of Mont Blanc, but as we make ready for our next big trip (Two months in New Zealand) I am looking towards Nikon for a new point and shoot to suit my needs.

I should add that many times since moving to England I have left what I consider my ” best gear ” behind because it seemed too much to carry and I’ve had some regrets. Later this fall when my sister is here, we’ll be headed to Paris which is one of my favorite places to photograph and I’m taking my Nikon D200 and some good glass this time even if there’s no room for clothes.

I’m off now to have another look at what the latest offerings are for top quality Nikon point & shoots, I have to say that I’m not convinced there are any that can pass the test for me as well as Canon or perhaps something else, but I’m open to any suggestions or street talk regarding your experience. I pay as much attention to the reviews of those already using the camera equipment I’m considering as I do the specs so please share what you know ”

So there it is … help me out if you can, what’s the buzz out there in your photo community … any suggestions?

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Two-Ton Tessie And Other Vile Things

“I have had more than enough of your abuse thank you very much and if that’s all you have to say then I am not going to listen. You’re too right that things have to change around here and the first thing is how you speak to me!” She said all of this standing in front of me looking straight into my eyes after I’d had another in series of meltdowns. Always proud in the past of my ability to maintain some self-control, I’ve been losing it more and more lately.

“How can you call me such names and do the things you have to me, why can’t you find other ways to deal with your anger, heartache, or frustration instead taking it out on me? Haven’t I always been there for you, remember all the times when you barely slept, or were so stressed at work that you thought you’d lose your mind, I was there for you, I kept you going! ”

I listened to her, ashamed that I had lost control again. How could I after all the promises I’d made over and over in the past. I’d worked hard on myself talking at length with those with more experience to sort through all the reasons why I kept losing control, but still here I was again spewing out those same old nasty hurtful words that I said before, words full of shame, blame, and disgust.

Listen, she said, ” You are so much more than you think you are and all of this is within your power to change if you would only change how you see yourself.”

I listened knowing what she said was true and how if I could just let go of my need to feed my emotions then the last piece of my life could come into balance.

Speaking more tenderly than I felt I deserved after my mistreatment of late, she said,” You know yourself so well, just listen more carefully the next time you hear the words,’ I’m hungry ‘ and think, is it truly your body talking or some other need.”

” I need for you take better care of me ” she said, ” Be kinder to me please and no more nasty name calling.”  Standing in a wreck of a room, with clothes heaped around me that no longer fit, I stood there staring into the mirror, absorbing her words and resolving once again to do better next time.

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Would You Lay With Me In A Field Of Flowers And Stone

St Genny's in Cornwall

While out on a drive yesterday, John took a detour and quite by accident we ended up at a place we might have never found had we not been up for a little adventure.

St Genny’s Church

Photo by John Winchurch

In a clear departure from my normal behavior, I did not take any photographs of the inside of St. Genny’s, but John got a nice one from the back center aisle.

I followed the path to the right of St Genny’s around the corner to see the surprise below.

Walking between the church and a stand of trees shading several rows of ornate gravestones, I stepped out into a place that took my breath away with the perfect beauty of all.

John had gone inside the church looking for me and after coming around the corner, caught up with me here on this hill.

He walked with a stride and purpose that I’ve seen before as he came straight up the hill to the place where I was standing. Reaching for me without saying a word, he kissed me with the kind of kiss that felt like a sweet benediction in what seemed like a holy place of rest. I thought nowhere could a woman feel more loved than I did then and we stood quietly together for another minute admiring the view from this field of flowers and stone.

As we turned to walk on I asked him if he’d seen a John and Elizabeth yet, because I know from experience now that there’s always a John and Elizabeth lying together in every churchyard we visit and no sooner did I finish the question then I saw two stones next to where he was standing. I smiled as I noticed that he happened to be standing in front of John the husband’s gravestone while I was closest to Elizabeth’s.

I would have photographed him where he stood, but sometimes I get a bit superstitious about photographing the living in a memorial for the dead. Except for wedding day photographs like ours below.

Elizabeth Harper & John Winchurch - Wedding Day - 2-2-2009

After seeing the graves of John and Elizabeth Marshall, we climbed to the top corner of the churchyard for a longer view …

… and noticed this sweet little bench tucked up near the wall.

It was a perfect place to sit and think.

There were wild flowers growing everywhere and not so much in the way of cut flowers,

… but I did find this tender message of love and memory on one grave.

It you’d like to know more about St Genny’s church, I found a wonderful blog post from a woman named Jan Windle who spent several days nearby and did some interesting research complete with detailed photographs. It’s well worth a look.

*Note that she speaks first about St Juliot, a church associated with Thomas Hardy before going on to St Genny’s.

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Protecting Your Eyesight In The Veggie Patch – Lessons Learned From A Gracious Gardener

I took this photograph in mid April when my friends Mike and Rebecca were putting their garden into the ground. My intention that day had been focused around getting some shots of an unusual magnolia tree in their back garden, but after finding the natural light a bit too dark to get a good exposure, I moved on intent on seeing what else might be interesting and different to photograph. I’d been asking questions as I went, about the plants and the expectations that they hoped for in return for their labor and it didn’t take long for my inexperience and ignorance about gardening to become quickly apparent.

As I stepped up to the raised bed in the image above I thought to myself, Alright … I know this one, now I can at least show her I am not a total goof when it comes to growing things. I turned to Rebecca and said kind of casually in a voice that sounded like I thought I knew exactly what I was talking about, ” So you’ve got those plastic cups on those stakes to scare away the birds huh, does it work? ” To which Rebecca said something I remember as,” Not exactly, but they do keep us from poking an eye out when we lean in to work on the plants.”

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RSS Feed – Like Getting A Letter From A Friend

I have been using Google Reader for longer than I can remember and at present there are 242 subscriptions that I currently read or have read in the past on a regular basis. I was shocked to see how many there are actually, but as I have them all neatly organized by subject matter or in cases by location such as UK, NZ, and US friends, I never noticed how many I had tucked away for safekeeping.

I’ve got headings for Art, Travel, Money and Investing, Photography, and Writing, UK expats in the US, and vice versa, along with some folks in a group so small that I put them together under India & Turkey. There’s a food section and heading for health topics and something I call Decorating Stuff that I no longer spend much time looking over since we finished the extension to the house. There are loads more groupings that I won’t bother to go into because what I really want to say has to do with something I have recently discovered.

It’s more of a realization really … as long as I’ve been reading blogs I have always resisted the subtle or not so subtle messages to click on the RSS button as noted in my top right corner or the email subscription found slightly lower down the page because in my mind I did not want it ‘cluttering’ up my inbox. I thought, No thanks, I’d rather visit you rather than have you just dropping in unannounced, and I must admit it has worked really well for me and I’ve not felt a need to change it.

Until recently that is … when I clicked on the very subtle, almost hidden, subscribe button of someone I never like to miss. She had been away from blogging for a few months as she was off doing more important things like building houses and reuniting families. When she popped back up in my google reader after being gone so long, I was ‘over the moon’ happy to see her again. During her absence, I’d followed her on Facebook and Twitter, but it just wasn’t the same as the longer bits on her blog that always felt like letters from a friend.

It wasn’t until her next posting and those that followed that I began to see the real merit for me in subscribing. Rather than my going to her place to catch up or share a thought, she pops into my inbox now just like any of my friends would. It always makes me smile to see what Jen Lemen has to say and given how much I enjoy seeing her mail arrive, I may just have to subscribe to a few more folks who have a similar effect on my moods and attitude.

I’m curious as to how you find the blogs you enjoying reading more than once or twice, do you bookmark, subscribe, use Google reader or something else perhaps? I’d be especially interested in how you find your way to my place and as always, thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment.

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Safety First

This is a photograph taken by a kind stranger in May of 2008. I had just returned to England from my home in America about a week earlier having … quit one job, said no thank you to an offer of another job from a law firm I had interviewed with for several months, rented my house out to strangers, sold off most of the lovely contents of my home and my car as well and packed myself off to the UK completely secure as I kissed my friends and family goodbye that I was on the right path for me.

Having only been to Cornwall once for two weeks when John and I met for the first a few months earlier, most of the people who loved me thought on some level that I had lost my mind. John and I had known each other only about four and a half months when this picture was taken. Looking back now if any of my friends had made so many major changes for love, I would have thought they were a bit nuts too. If you’ve followed our story for very long, then you know it has all worked out so well that it feels as if it was all just meant to be.

A few things have changed since the picture above was taken, we’ve been married for over a year, and since that first bike ride we’ve had change in attitude with regard to safety when cycling on the Camel Trail. Even though most of our bike riding is confined to car free, easy bike trails where one might feel safe enough as we did back then to ride without a helmet, today when we go out for a ride along the same path we’ll be wearing some protective headgear.

This shift in our cycling attire has a great deal to do with our recognition of how special what we have is and our desire to safeguard it right down to protecting our physical bodies from harm. The realization of just how fragile our lives really are can supercede quite a lot including the discomfort of a helmet when it comes to protecting life and love. In the pictures below, notice in the first one John’s headgear and in the second, my helmet hair after we stopped along the way to take a photograph on Helland Bridge, a place that will always be special to us both.

The Camel Trail

John & Elizabeth – Helland Bridge

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Can You Tell Me How To Get To …

I’m often stopped by strangers when I’m out on a run who ask, ” Can you tell me how to get to … ” and I must have acquired a new level of confidence when responding as people seem inclined to accept my instructions without displaying the hesitation I’ve witnessed in the past.

The man in the photograph below was walking on lane in the opposite direction as I passed him yesterday and wished to find the Camel Trail. He had parked nearby, but had somehow gotten off track and needed a bit of help to find his way back. As I was going in the same direction, I led him to the trail and then slowed to a walk to allow him to get far enough ahead so I might feel a bit more alone on the path. He was the first person I had run into on a stunningly perfect weather day and I was surprised not to encounter more folks along the way.

Even though it was hardly crowded with only the man above and his dogs, I still wanted a bit more nature and no people if possible so I could be totally alone my thoughts. I was doing some big daydreaming yesterday as I mentioned here and I didn’t want to have to stay alert to the passing bell sounds of cyclists approaching from behind or to have to break concentration to give a customary greeting or head nod to others on the trail. On days like these when I need more room, it helps to know which direction to go or at least have a sense of adventure about discovering the less traveled places.

Now that’s more like it …

… just me, the trees, and the river.

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Chewing On A Dreamy Idea

This little caterpillar was hard at work yesterday trying to fill its belly in anticipation of the big transformation that comes with growing wings. Thanks to a dream I’ve had for a while that I shared on my Big Bag Of Dreams post along with a inspiring lesson yesterday in Kelly Rae’s Flying Lessons, an e-course that I’m taking, I’m chewing on a few transformational ideas of my own.

I be back a bit later when I have a chance to digest it all. I’m pretty excited about what I’m planning and I hope you will be too. * Burp*   Oh, pardon me!